Over Again

1. So much for having as many posts in January 2013 as I did in the whole year of 2012. I was close, though.

2. January 31-- the birth day of Justin Timberlake. A day that I will always remember. I see the date and the only thing I can think of is Justin Timberlake and how I was so jealous in 6th grade of my friend Mackenzie because she had the same birthday as the One and Only. The Google home page is paying homage to Jackie Robinson. It's appropriate, I guess. But someday I bet there will be a little cartoon JT smiling at me on this day at google.com.

3. The more I listen to Ed the more I love him. And guess what?? The most exciting thing of 2013 happened today (actually, maybe not as exciting as a new JT single). BUT GUESS WHAT?????? I found and bought tickets for ED SHEERAN AT SALTAIR. NEXT WEDNESDAY!!!! I called Lauren the moment I saw them online and practically started screaming when she answered the phone. And then she was screaming too and then I bought the tickets. So now, next Wednesday will become the best day of 2013. The end.

4. To add to the exciting-ness that is Ed next Wednesday, the venue is the Great Saltair near Magna, Utah. This is one of those places that I have been dreaming of visiting since I started working at Special Collections at BYU and saw a bunch of pictures of this old water park resort thing at the Great Salt Lake and everyone was wearing those swim suits from the 1920s that look like regular clothes, complete with hats and everything. And Saltair itself looked like a palace on the water. I read up on the whole thing on Wikipedia like a year ago, and found out that the original building was burned down, like, a couple of times and it was rebuilt for the millionth time in the '80s and now they use it for concerts and such. And I get to go there and see Ed!!!! All of my wildest dreams are coming true. Next week. Now all I have to do is meet my husband there and fall madly in love, and the day will be unsurpassed for all of history.

Saltair now. rebuilt in 1987.

The old Saltair. Isn't it amazing??? The first Saltair burned down in 1925.

See all the people??? See the swim suits that say, "Saltair"???? I wish I could have seen it back then.

oh my heck, I should have my wedding reception there. And it will be a ball/black tie affair.

5. Great news: I DIDN'T HAVE TO SCRAPE OFF MY WINDOWS THIS MORNING!

6. Other great news: I have the day off tomorrow!! And that means I can stay up late and then sleep in!! HEAVEN!!!!

7. Do you ever feel like people only add you on Facebook because they want to Facebook stalk you for some reason, and you think you know what that reason is, but you are probably just being paranoid??? Do you?

8. Did anyone notice that the titles of my last three posts (minus the one titled "?") were all One Direction songs---the 3 songs that Ed Sheeran wrote for them??? Did anyone notice?? 5 points if you noticed!!

Ciao.

?

Someone (won't say who) on Facebook just said they really missed MySpace.

I thought that sentiment was a "said no one ever" sort of thing.

Guess not.

Moments

Some things that get me through weekdays in the winter:
1. American Idol. I am in love with the new judges. I was skeptical, but I'm in love.
2. THE BACHELOR. Poor Casey B. But she went a little bit crazy.
3. my fluffy bed.
4. hot showers.
5. fluffy socks.
6. chick lit.
7. St. George
8. Daydreaming about this:

our clothes are wet. and we are outside. and we are still warm.
Note to Dani Richards: I wish you were in this shot.

I'm on the beach.

can you see the sunshine making our hair glow???

a star of friendship and love and happiness and warmth. and patriotism.

frolicking in Central Park.

CAN YOU SEE THE SUN??????

Again, the sun makes its appearance. It's a rare occurrence this time of year in the land of Salt Lake City.  And Christopher Bradshaw, this one is for you. :)

Do you see the sun?? Do you see the fun?? The friends? the laughter?? the good times to be had??? It seems so far away. I just want to hang out in the sun, not wearing coats or shoes that require socks. Oh my heck and I would love to outlaw pants. I just want to wear shorts and skirts and dresses 100% of my life.

little things

1. Today I bought a BODY PILLOW.
2. I was able to hang out with both Grandma Janice and Grandma Colleen this weekend. They both just kept cracking jokes!
3. BYU basketball is my fave. Tyler Haws.
4. Still in love with that ginger. See below.
5. Amy came to church with me yesterday!
6. Awkward situations are best dealt with unawkwardly.
7. Anyone want to go to a monster truck rally with me on Saturday?
8. I tried to win tickets to OneRepublic on Friday. Apparently my text to the radio station that said, "PICK ME! RYAN TEDDER IS MY FAVORITE GUY!!!!!!!" wasn't enough.
9. Read a little book on Friday called, Lola and the Boy Next Door. I love boys next door. And I love chick lit. But this week's target is 1984, because I have never even read it. I'm reading a book a week this year, ps, alternating between real literature and sugary desserts.
10. this picture was finally posted to facebook:

read: I was in an interesting mood this evening.

11. and this one:

read: water balloon smacking me in the face, mid-cartwheel. And you can see the water splash.

12. Oh, and this one:

read: the dream team.

13. And, just for fun, let's hearken back to this gem:

just because there was a giant walrus. btw, drake's pants are about to rip.

ciao.

Edward Sheeran where have you been all my life?

I have been contemplating being a fan of this man ever since 1D's Harry Styles commented at an iTunes musical festival about the genius singer-songwriter with "ginger hair" who wrote a couple of their songs.

And then "The a Team" got stuck in my head and wouldn't leave.

And then I listened to the rest of the album, and I swear I got weak in the knees just listening to this man's voice.

And he's like this nerdy ginger kid with crazy hair and a pointy chin like Elise had when she was little.

But he's only 21 and I think he might be a genius.

Sample below:
(hint: this song is best heard without any distractions)

I don't even know what to call this.

What is the most frustrating thing that can happen to you in your whole life? Something that can happen any time of the week, and doesn't usually have any real, terrible consequences?

I had a very hilarious story planned for this post. I've been thinking about it all day. But now I'm just sick of telling this story. As it turns out, most people look at you like you are a big idiot if you tell them that you locked your keys in your car, while it was running, before work, TWO DAYS IN A ROW.

They don't laugh (as is the proper response). They look at you, very concerned, and suggest kindly that you should get a spare key to remedy your unfortunate and idiotic habit.

I think that sort of a suggestion is a perfect THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS situation.

And just so everyone is aware, I now have three sets of keys. My normal keys. A set in a magnetic box attached to the underside of my car, and another that will be hidden near my house once the snow is gone.

And also, just so everyone is aware, I completely blame the cold weather. My car has been acting weird, period. And the locks are obviously playing tricks on me. And if I didn't ever need to scrape my windows I wouldn't have ever gotten out of the car after having started it.

So there.

And while I'm being angry, this is an anonymous note:

Dear Next Door Neighbor:

I shouldn't have to park 2 blocks away to find a parking spot when there are two available spots in front of your house. The temperature has not risen above freezing in like the last month, and I might get hypothermia or pneumonia or, I don't know, TB (haha) from making the trek from car to house and back. I will be sending you the hospital bill. And please stop being so mean.

Sincerely, your friendly neighborhood single people with 4 cars who need places to park them.

And Andrew, I don't appreciate your attitude when I confess to you about my keys-locked-in-car situation while I'm on my way to Stephanie's house and then you text her right away with a warning: "Audrey's coming. Guard your keys."

Rock Your Body

I watched this music video with Stephanie last night. It is the greatest JT video and it SCREAMS 2003.
Sweet Stephanie's only words were:

"They should play this video on MTV all day, every day, and none of those stupid shows."

I have a very wise sister.

Do you know how long we've waited for this?

http://countdown.justintimberlake.com/


like 7 years. That's how long.

And there have been so many false alarms.

And I feel like this first single is only a warm up. I think I'm going to like the other stuff a lot more. But it's fresh and still very JT at the same time.

So. Cool.

Finally.

Oh, Rob.

One of my all-time faves.

Black Balloon

This song is hope.

Don't know why.

But so today, when I drove home from the happy land of Provo, I listened to the Goo Goo Dolls. I listen to them when I am feeling more reflective. Don't know why that was tonight. Probably because it is so cold and snowy and icy outside. Probably because I miss Provo and all my friends and sometimes I wish I could have just frozen time to keep everyone around me. To keep everyone from graduating and going different places. To keep the warm Provo summer sun shining on all the happy kids who are there to learn and grow and have too much fun with all the other happy kids.

Tonight I had dinner with Mike and Drake and I asked them how the ward is. They are still in the best ward of all time. Mike---and Drake--- confirmed to me that the ward was the best in summer of 2011--when my little crew ruled the world. 2011 could have been a frozen moment. Or better yet, epic summer 2010, as it is known to be called.

And then after dinner I went to a BYU men's volleyball game, and I remembered all the other volleyball games. The first was just after I broke up with a boy. It was a cleansing game-- the kind that reminded me of how much fun it is to just hang out with your friends with no pressure. And my friends were so happy I was with them that night. Amy kept telling me that.

Why do I have to meet new people and make new friends when I love the ones of have so much already? I have so many amazing friends and it is already so hard to keep up with them all thoroughly. Why do I need more? Why do things always need to change? And why am I already stressing out about what is going to happen in the fall when the lease on my house is up and I have to decide if I'm going to stay in here or move somewhere else? Why do these decisions have to only be up to me?

Because what is happening now? What is the plan, Audrey? What do you even want in your life that you can go and get for yourself?

All of these thoughts were swirling. And then somehow, despite any of the lyrics, Black Balloon reminded me to hope. It's like, the tune, the sound, the instruments. They just have this quality that says anything is possible.

Options

So yesterday. It was Friday night and for several days prior I had all the optional activities swirling around in my head. Couldn't decide what my plans would be:

1. Go to Provo to do my laundry at Stephanie's before and after seeing Les Mis with her. She still hasn't witnessed the wonder.

2. Hit up Trader Joe's for some Speculoos and tart frozen yogurt (and that yummy granola) and then go ice skating with Audrey and Jessica-- 2 of my most favorite hilarious people. They were going to come down from Provo.

3. Hang out with a boy.

And this is what ended up happening:

After getting off work early because of massive snow storm Gandolf (that is seriously what they called it--although it's spelled wrong. And now the mystery is finally solved-- this must be how he went from "the Grey" to "the WHITE." A whole lotta snow.), I made a frozen pizza and watched "This Means War." I was cold and tired and actually kind of scared of the snow. And Lauren was home eventually-- and she watched the movie with me. Around 6pm we both settled into spots on the chair-and-a-half and couch in our front room. She was reading a book and I was doing my nails, still trying to determine the evening's plans. And then she had a suggestion. A book suggestion. A book I should totally read. So she got it from her room and I started reading--as if on command--and forgot completely about doing my nails. I am currently typing with only a base coat. The book was so delightful that by page 2 I started reading passages aloud. Lauren told me to keep reading. She put her book away and then just laid there... watching me, listening. We paused now and then to answer texts (we tried to give our home teacher a booty call, for example) She got me a couple glasses of water, you know, because my throat was dry, from all the reading-aloud. We took an hour break to shovel our driveway and jump into the snow (to a not-so-soft landing despite the 15 inches of snow, mind you), and then we resumed the story.

And then suddenly it was 2:30AM and we were on page 235 and my throat muscles are actually sore from using them so much.

Close To You

Over Christmas break this exchange occurred.

Me: What are you doing the next couple of days?
Jenny: Oh, you know, just hanging out with my best friend Audrey!

yessssssssssssssssssssssssss.

I didn't get to see that Jenn girl until like 11pm on my last night in St. George. I went to her house and we chatted or a couple hours. Did a lot of reminiscing about high school. She had happened to recently find her old yearbooks and we read all our notes to each other--and the ones from Moe. And it was just the best. <3 p="p">
And then the other day, I was up in the conservation lab at work and they had music playing. And a magic song came on-- "Close To You" by The Carpenters. I recognized it and was instantly taken back to my sophomore year of high school....

Jenn had a little, rickety old car that her brother had procured from a coworker at Frostop, the local fast-food drive-in (home to delicious piccadilly chips and crushed raspberry glaciers), for a mere TWENTY FIVE CENTS. She drove that car for, what, 3 years?

We named it Sir Walter Raleigh, after the real Sir Walter who had a rumored affair with Queen Elizabeth. Obviously a gentleman, and a ladies man. And a Seadog, of course.

Sir Walter had his problems. He liked to stall at intersections. And one time he wouldn't start at all, so Jenny had us push him down a hill (while she was in the driver's seat, of course), and like magic, he roared to life. And when he was struggling, we would pat the dash lovingly and coo, "you can do it Sir Walter!"

If I remember correctly, Sir Walter had an outstanding cassette tape player. And the only tape in the car was a compilation of songs by The Carpenters.  It's funny, though, because the only song I ever remember listening to on that tape was "Close To You." I think we re-wound it and played it over and over and we sang really loud.

And so, standing at the counter in the conservation lab, organizing photographs from somebody's mission to the DR, I smiled and wished I was 15 years old with my Moe and my Jen, giggling and singing in Sir Walter Raleigh.

The End.

Stephanie. This one is for you.

At work today I was in a room with 3 other people. We were talking about movies. The two men had NEVER SEEN TITANIC. (did they get lost in some sort of time warp and just recently returned to our century??) The woman saw it as a high schooler. And apparently she and all of her friends hated it. They thought it was too dramatic and cheesy and ridiculous. She said, to quote, "it is a horrible movie."

And it made me sad.

the dear ones

I just discovered this family photo.

I'm in love with it.

Also. I just had a small panic attack of joy because a new One Republic song was released...tomorrow (but since it's after midnight in EST it's already on iTunes!!!)!!!!! Can this day get better?

"If I Lose Myself." Look it up.

Kiss You

Harry Styles. In the snow pants. Kills me every time.

This just came out a couple hours ago, ps.

Gonzo

Andrew sprained his ankle playing flag football a couple days ago. You can add this injury to the long list of things that, I think, will one day leave my brother handicapped. And all because of flag football. Why do they even use the flags if they are going to break their bodies anyway?

Text conversation from this evening:
Me: How is your foot dear brother?
Andrew: Mangled!! But getting better. :) it looks like gonzo's nose.
Me: That's what the pictures look like. Did you go to the doctor?
Andrew: Ya. He said to take 2 high fiber low fat diet cookies. How was your Saturday? Are you watching the Colts tomorrow?
Me: Did the doctor say your foot would lose weight if you did as prescribed? and yes I want to watch the Colts!!
Andrew: Ya. He said also to make my foot throw up.
Andrew: It's called Bullemic foot *(spelling not changed, I promise)

hahahahahhahaahhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa


I consulted the picture that Mallory sent earlier in the day:

And then I consulted Gonzo's nose:

Precisely.

Gatsby

"He smiled understandingly--much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced -- or seemed to face -- the whole eternal world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favour. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey."

I want to have that affect on people. Like Jay Gatsby.

And I'm reading Gatsby again. The trailer for the new movie was released last summer, and I've watched it about fifteen times. And then I saw it on the big screen before Les Mis.

I'm so excited.

I'm going to post the trailer, for your viewing pleasure, even though I kind of think that I posted it before.

:)

Yeah, I'm only on episode 63 of "Say Yes to the Dress." NBD.

Thoughts of January Second.

1. Why can't socks stay on my feet? New socks, old socks. With new shoes or old shoes. The only ones that stay are ankle socks, and you CANNOT wear ankle socks with dress pants... which is what I have to wear to work. I am seriously constantly twisting my socks back around and pulling them back up. I'm going to blame the shinscles.

2. I bought Phillip Phillips's The World From the Side of the Moon yesterday...I finally gave in after wishing it was on my iPod for like 2 weeks. And it's so calm. It's like....raw pop. (I know, I make up all of these terms. I am aware.) It almost has this Johnny Cash feel, like a little bluegrassy or something. But in a good way. And he has such a sexy voice. Sample below:


3. It is so unbelievably cold in this place we call Salt Lake City. And my basement might be the coldest basement in the world. I feel like a ten degree difference when I walk up the stairs in the morning. Honestly, I get out of bed and just shiver the entire time I get ready and then I go upstairs to eat and I'm like, how is it so warm up here???????? It feels all  lovely and then I just get angry and jealous of those who sleep in the toasty land of the upstairs instead of the tundra of the basement.

4. Conversation with Nathan today:
Me: have you seen Les Mis?
Nathan: no.
Me: why not?
Nathan: I don't want to.
Me: Why?
Nathan: It's a musical.
Me: Do you hate music?
Nathan: No.
Me: Do you have a soul?
Nathan: .....

He obviously doesn't. That is clear. And he even served his mission in Paris! As Mike Poulson would say, "WHAT THE?"
As a sidenote, who else has a crush on Marius?

Empty Chairs and Empty Tables

That has always been my favorite part.

And the movie did not disappoint.

I waited several days to see Les Miserables for a couple reasons:

1. I was worried about Anne Hathaway
2. I wanted a little bit of the hype to die before I walked in to have my experience. It wasn't about excitement for me--but for experience.

Because it was an experience. The movie ended and my roommates immediately started to grab and their stuff and stand up. And this is where I start to have a panic attack---amidst my efforts to remember how to move and what my own name is---I didn't go over the movie-watching-experience rules with Andrea and Lauren. It so wasn't their fault.

I do not move after seeing a movie such as the one we just saw. And I don't want anyone to tell me to move. I do not speak. And I don't want to be asked any questions. Particularly the one that goes, "so what'd you think??" Like it was some trivial something that will be forgotten in 5 minutes. Like it was something that I could produce a fully-formed, logical and structured opinion on within seconds. My blog readers know these rules... but the roommates did not. When they noticed I had not moved at all when they had stood, they say back down to wait.

And I simmered. Because that is what you do. You have to soak it in---mind blank. You listen to the music and watch the credits and you just process for a while. Until you are ready to stand.

And then you stand, and you leave, and you do not say a word.

Les Miserables is a very personal story. Many, many people have a very private connection to the show, the story, the book, the music, the whole concept. It is about humanity and God and people and love and sacrifice and it is entirely relatable and tragic and beautiful. It's like Marius says so correctly in his weary solo: "there's a grief that can't be spoken..." It's hard to describe how people feel about this show. Despite knowing the musical word for word (and almost mouthing it all, breathlessly, throughout the movie), I can't say that I love it or appreciate it more than the average person. Even though I had tears in my eyes from the second the music started out of pure nostalgia---I can't say it's a part of me more than anyone else can.

And that is amazing. We all share it. It's a reverent thing, almost. And I love that we can connect in such a story of hope and Christianity.

As a sophomore in high school and a member of the large ensemble in our production of Les Mis, I used to sit in the audience during rehearsal and just stare. I couldn't believe that I was a part of something so amazing. I wanted to share is with everyone I knew. I used to fall asleep to the finale track. And when we performed our show, we sang the last strains of "Do You Hear the People Sing," and we would all be crying too, along with the audience, and then the lights would go out, and it would be over, and we would scramble to the hallways to greet our friends and family, hoping that the story we had just told would have the same effect on them that it had had on us. It was partially because of the applause and the joys or performing, but overwhelmingly is was because of the music and story. And it is something I will never forget.

And so, besides the emotion and feeling and story and the triumph of it all, this is what I take away from the movie:
1. It is much more religious than I had ever realized. Somehow.
2. Javert may be the one who is to be the most pitied.
3. Anne Hathaway really, really did an amazing job. I have no complaints about her performance. I might have to start liking her now.
4. Marius is such a man.
5. Russell Crowe's face is too nice for Javert. But maybe they did that on purpose.
6. What would have been Act 1 had this been on the stage was much more emotional for me than Act 2, which is an interesting twist. I'm usually in the most pain around the barricade.

I will see it again. But probably not for a while. I don't know if it is a movie I will own. It seems like watching it on my own TV will cheapen it somehow.

And so Andrea and Lauren, that is what I thought.

Resolution

Write on my blog once a week.

It's New Year's Day and the only thing I want to do is sit in my bed with my new fluffy fluffy bedding that feels like a cloud in heaven, writing my resolutions and listening to Elton John's "Tiny Dancer." I even got $35 in iTunes gift cards for Christmas and I haven't used any of it yet because I am so obsessed with this one song. I also seriously day dream about my bed. Because it's so fluffy. I was at work yesterday and the only thing I wanted was to get back in bed. I kept asking people what they got for Christmas so that I could talk about my new bedding. I just kept wanting to bring it up. It's like I'm dating this new boy....but it's just a fluffy comforter and duvet and delicious purple sheets and exquisite pillows that aren't too flat but aren't too puffy.

Is that bad? That's it's 3:05pm on the first day of the year and I'm still in bed? It might be. I might be getting lazy.

I actually have decided that 2012, in a lot of ways, was a year of regression. Not in like, crucial ways. But in small ways where I can see myself getting looser about some things. Like spending money. I've become excellent at that. I'm a little bit addicted to wearing new clothes. As I was unpacking from my Christmas adventure in St. George I noticed how many clothes I really have---and how many of them were purchased in 2012. But....I love them. And I've gotten lazier about planning things. And going to the gym. And feeding myself. And keeping my room clean.

I just get so busy. I like to keep my social calendar full. And I like to always have something to do and people to see. That is also kind of an addiction of mine. Like, I didn't have a fulfilling day if I didn't build more relationships with more people. I'm such an extravert it's not even funny. Almost to the point of it being a weakness. Like, I can't handle being by myself for more that like a couple hours.

 But sometimes I get too busy. I want to have time to cook and work out and study interesting things and keep up with religious commitments.

Like, wouldn't it be awesome if I could go to work, go to the gym, get dinner on the stove, go shower, eat a delicious and healthy dinner, enjoy some fancy literature (while eating, mind you), and then begin the evening's social festivities? That would mean that gym and getting ready and dinner would have to happen before like 7pm, and there is literally not enough time for that. And then social events would have to end at like 9:30 so that I could (if I'm REALLY trying to be social and healthy) get to bed by like 10:30. I would need at least an hour for ideal scripture study and getting ready for bed procedures. But then this leaves no wiggle room. No time for roommate bonding, and no extra time for errands and/or other things that need to be done. And it totally cuts out the necessary travel time to Provo and back--- if that's the day's chosen social activity.

So this is my resolution. Focus on making time for all the things I want to do. Live a more balanced life with exercise, healthy eating, sleep, a budget, fancy literature, lotsa friends, spiritual enlightenment :), and family.

People always say you can't do it all. But I've always said that I CAN. I just have to focus, and I just have to try. And as Thomas Jefferson said, "the harder you work, the more luck you seem to have." And I'm interpreting "luck" as happiness and success--- the two things that I want most in this world. And gosh darn it, I get what I want.