Thursday, December 23, 2010

Rain, rain, it finally went away.

Until today, it rained in like the whole state of Utah EVERYDAY. And gosh, I hate rain. I don't know how I'm going to survive Washington, DC. Eek.

1. I feel like the weather, though, reflected my own inner turmoil as I finished my finals and packed up to leave Provo for the foreseeable future. I don't have specific plans to go back... which means that I no longer live in Provo and am done with BYU. It's a depressing thought, really.  I have loved my time there more than I can possibly say, and it just breaks my heart to imagine never going back to that life. But I have come to terms with it. I'm excited to see what happens next-- I know that I will love the next stage of my life just as much as I loved my years at Brigham Young University. (look ahead to a post about BYU and why I love it so much. It may not come until April, though, when I actually graduate). I packed and cleaned, said good bye to A LOT of people that I love, and admittedly cried about the whole ordeal kind of a lot. It was hard. I didn't want to leave.

2. Meghan Newby and Lorina Binning are back from their missions!!! I had the privilege and honor to visit Meghan in the Salt Lake airport during her layover there last Thursday. And I cried like a baby when I saw her. It was embarrassing. I tried to explain that I was just emotional because of all the crazy things of that week, but really it was just good to see her. I was happy to have been able to see her because she'll be back at BYU, but I'll be in DC and won't see her or Lorina at all. The airport was my one chance. But I'm excited to be able to talk to them and catch them up on everything.

2. Anyway, it rained on Saturday. Rachelle's wedding day. And despite the poor weather, the day was beautiful. The temple was lovely (even though everyone's hair was all messed up in pictures), the luncheon was perfect, and the reception was charming. The wedding, like the packing and moving in the days before it, was an emotional, draining experience (as was reflected in the rain). I have had many best friends get married. This was actually my 5th time as a bridesmaid. But I do have to say that it was one of my most meaningful experiences as a bridesmaid. Rachelle and I have been through a lot together. We've been friends for a long time. It was painful to lose her. I have to admit that I panicked a couple of times in the process of her courtship and engagement to Brad and some tears were shed. But I am so happy for her, and I can't wait to see where life takes her. I just hope against all hope that we can maintain some of the closeness that I love about our friendship. I just love that girl.

3. On Sunday morning my family drove up to Ogden for some family stuff. It rained the whole way. The whole way for real. That night we had our family Christmas party, and I was struck by the fact that my family is extremely understanding and accepting of everyone. My extended family (on my dad's side) is a hodge podge of people, many half-related or not even officially married-into our family. It can get very confusing. But everyone is loved and welcome. I'm so grateful for that. We all love each other. And our once-a-year get-together is very well attended. Everyone comes. And it still surprises me when a cousin who is never heard from except on the day of that party every year, shows up with new children and/or a new significant other. And everyone is welcome. I love it.

4. On Tuesday night my family went to the basketball game between BYU and Weber @ Weber. We are a Weber family. My parents went there. My grandpa has worked there for like 60 years. He is actually in the Weber State Athletic Hall of Fame because he announced all the athletic events for like 30 years. He was "The Voice of the Wildcats." And while we were at the game and I had dozens of aunts, uncles, cousins (and even siblings and parents) rooting for Weber, I held true to my own school. (The Beach Boys song, "Be True to Your School" comes to mind). I yelled for my Cougars. It was the last time I'll see our BYU boys play (live) this season, because of my silly decision to move out of state. I really am upset about this. And if I hadn't been so excited about the game and our win, I maybe would have shed a tear out of pure nostalgia for the game of basketball and the joy that our boy Jimmer has brought me. :)

this'll be me again soon.
And today, the rain is gone. The sun came out, and the mourning I have felt for my past life is over. I am cleansed and ready to move on, seriously. I am extremely anxious for Washington. Cause, you know, it doesn't even feel like it's an exciting thing that is about to happen. Or like I'm doing anything unusual. It just feels normal. So meant to be. Like, of course I would do my student teaching in Washington. Living in DC feels normal. And good. And I'm anxious to fly out there and begin it all. To re-live the fairy tale, but in a different way.

4 comments:

Lorina said...

audrey!! I don't know your phone number so please call me! I will probably get your phone from Meghan. I'm so sad that you won't be in utah but I know you will do great in DC. I love you!

Taryn Davis said...

I said all my goodbyes to BYU football and basketball and everything last year, and now I'm still here. You seriously never know where life is going to take you. I'm glad that you're feeling content about D.C. :)

lene b said...

what a beautiful post, audrey. i cherish you so. and i miss you. and love you. <3

eliseila said...

Wow, this one made me cry. Your posts are a gift.
love, Mom