Monday, December 7, 2009

Snow.

I live in constant fear of slipping and falling and either:

a) Smacking my tailbone and bruising it again (remember the painful tailbone incident at Classic Skating last winter?),
b) Twisting my already slowly-healing sprained ankle again and living for another 2 months in excruciating pain,
c) Dropping my laptop (which doesn't fit in my backpack), watching it splat on the ice, opening it to see a shattered screen and a damaged hard drive, and consequently, losing my most valuable (for monetary and sanity reasons) possession,
d) Sliding down any stairs on campus (whether it be in the library, down to the JFSB, or down the hill from the Maesar building) and breaking every bone in my body, probably including my skull.
e) and/or landing face first on the icy sidewalk, resulting in a broken nose and removal of all my lovely, pearly white, straight teeth.

The only valuable part of my appearance that is not in danger of being damaged by falling is my hair. Thank goodness for that. OMG! UNLESS I slip, and my hair sticks to a pole or something (like on A Christmas Story), and when I continue falling, it keeps sticking to the pole and RIPS OFF MY HEAD. Oh my, I'm going to avoid poles. And other forms of frozen-sticky metal. Aye, aye, aye.

This is what I think about as I walk around campus in the snow. And I thought that Finals were going to be stressful. Sheesh.

Now let's talk about my fear of driving in the snow. I literally CANNOT drive anywhere in snowy weather without having at least one incident in which I slide into a curb, through a stop sign, around a corner, or into large snowbanks that I need to be towed out of. Yes, all of those things have happened to me. And yes, I swear I was driving carefully. Obviously. I'm terrified.


P.S. Audrey P.: you have no idea how lucky you are that you are in Arizona. When I look outside, the only color I see is white, and there is absolutely no sign of life.

2 comments:

Audrey said...

I was just smiling and laughing to myself as I read this!! :D I'm SOOO lucky. I remember those days on campus. I slipped down the west end stairs of the JKB and had the bruise of MY LIFE on my elbow which is what I smacked HARD to catch myself! But.. It is raining HARD down here and I have already locked myself out of my parents house and it's my first day here! But it could be worse. :)

dani said...

ha. audrey, you need to learn to love snow! ...and also how to drive in the snow. i really think it is a necessary life skill which I am willing to impart to you. in the meantime: i think we should build a snow fort directly atop our spot outside banbridge. yes?