Times Square on New Years' Eve EXPOSED

Audrey Spainhower tells all in this, the UNTOLD STORY of a great American tradition: the horror, the misery, and the less than 5 seconds of excitement.

Stephanie and I rode a bus from DC to NYC on New Years' Eve. It left at 8:15am. We got to NY around noon and quickly made our way to the Brooklyn Bridge. That was our one chosen touristy thing for the day. After thinking really hard for about fifteen minutes, we figured out the subway system and mapped out our way to the bridge. We finally made it to Brooklyn but then failed to find the pizza place we had been aiming for. So we ate pizza somewhere else, but still Brooklyn thin-crust and lotsa cheese style.

Stephanie, walking across the bridge

By the time we made it back into the City it was almost 4:00pm-- we came out of the subway at 42nd St, right smack in the prime of Times Square. To give you a visual, if you've never been there before, it looks a little bit like the strip in Vegas and a lot like a cartoon. The marquises and posters are larger-than-life and brightly colored.

We were told by a policewoman that the ball was going to drop pretty much right above where we were standing. We were like, "sweet! Let's just stay standing right here!" But then we figured out that the area where we were standing was going to be closed off for emergency people and camera crews when it got a little later. We were instructed to go down the street and pick a different entrance onto 5th Ave. So we walked down to 45th. They wouldn't let us in. They said the block was full of people already. We tried 47th (amid thousands of other people, mind you). Same Story. We tried 49th, now 7 blocks away from the ball. They still wouldn't let us in. We finally joined a cue to get through the barricade at 52nd street (a mere 10 blocks from the ball), and were smashed to oblivion by the hordes of anxious people for about an hour before they finally let us through (and we were some of the last people allowed onto that block). We rushed through security (they searched everyone's person and bags. That's why it took so long) and found ourselves caged into the block between 51st and 52nd in another metal barricade. It felt like we had been corralled. There was a different oval-shaped barricade set up on every block, and hundreds of people were trapped in every one of them. And there was no leaving the barricades, not even if you were going to pee your pants (actually, I saw them let one girl go. And she had to walk down 7 NY blocks by herself before she was let in to a bathroom), because:

1. First, there was no room to move. Too many people smashed together. So it was hard to get out of the barricade even if the policemen would have allowed it.
2. The policemen were watching, and if you left, you could not come back.

Once we were settled into the barricade it was a little after 5:00pm, and the long wait began. We looked ahead to 7 hours of standing in the corral. So we thought of numerous ways to pass the time:

1. Make friends with the people around you who share in your 7-hour wait misery. We met some girls next to us who were from Georgia and were just adorable. They helped Steph and I be excited because they were excited. We also made friends with a guy who was by himself. He had been separated from his friend earlier (in the crowds) and they couldn't find each other again until they were both corralled into separate blocks. So, he just stuck with us through it all and we talked to him for just about the entire 7 hours. He was an unusual character to say the least. Well, really, the most unusual thing about him was that he refused to tell anyone his name. He didn't make an issue about it, he just smoothly changed the subject anytime anyone asked him for it. And he was asked several times. When I first asked him, I thought he said his name was Eldar, but when I was like, "what?," he changed the subject. So Stephanie and I refer to him as Eldar, Oldar, Elgar, Oldvar, and any other variation of that. To paint a picture of this man, he was almost my exact same age, 6'6", moderately built, from Connecticutt (which he claimed is populated only by "old, rich people who own a lot of land"), is a student at UCONN, wants to be a neurobiologist, went on vacation to Florida once for 4 days and spend $3,000 ("but it's not about the money, it's about having fun."), travels to Europe quite frequently, and has a nice car ("I have to borrow someone else's car when I come to NY. I would NEVER drive my car to my cousin's house in Manhattan."). Notice that the inserted quotes are from Elgar. Last, there was a group of people directly in front of us that we talked about a lot, but we didn't talk TO them. They were from Colorado (fellow westerners), and there were about 5 girls and one man. The girls all wore matching giant T-shirts over their coats that said "CO" on them, and winter hats with animal ears on them. They also wore variations of glasses with flashing lights. The man was obviously dating one of the girls (they practically made-out every hour and Oldar complained about the PDA constantly), but he looked to be about twice her age, and we were all very disturbed. To add to the absurdity, the man pulled out a FLASK from his coat after midnight, drank some, and then passed it to his sweetheart who looked barely over-age. AHEM, Mr., public drinking is illegal in this city. Anyway.

2. We marched in place to keep warm, to stretch our atrophied muscles, and to take up time.

me, sitting down, giving my legs and feet some relief.

3. We sat on the ground a couple of times, for short stints only-- it didn't take long for the asphalt to freeze our butts.

4. We played dumb games with Eldar. Like movie quote or character games. None of them worked very well or for very long because we hadn't seen the same movies. He's a non-Mormon boy and likes the movies that one would predict he does. Those movies do not even fall into my vocabulary.

5. We listened to my iPod. Out loud. We only got through a couple of songs, though, before I realized that having a full iPod battery on the way back to DC that night was muy importante.

6. About every hour someone would say, "well, I guess we could take another picture." So that took up about a total of 30 seconds.

And that's about it. That's as far as the creativity goes. It was really long and cold and boring and miserable. And have you ever tried standing in the same place for 7 hours? I can't even describe the pain in my legs and feet. The bottom of my feet are BRUISED. First from walking all day and then from standing on the damage.

Reference point: you see the shadow of someone's head in the middle of screen? above that head is a pillar of lights. Above that pillar is a teeny little orb of light. That's the ball.

And to top it all off, we were literally 10 blocks from the dumb New Years' Eve ball. And about 7 from the stage where all sorts of people performed that I would have loved to see, namely, Ke$ha, Taio Cruz, and the Backstreet Boys. Yes, my BSB were right down the street and I couldn't so much as hear a teensy note from a song. The ball look to be about the size of a pinhead in front of us, and we could see a tiny little screen below it with things moving around on it, but that's about it.

A really, really, really zoomed in shot.

But I was there. I stood in Times Square on New Years' Eve 2010, and that's something. I've come to a level of acceptance where I'm glad that we went, but only just barely. I still kind of wish we had just stayed in DC and rang in the new year by ourselves, standing on my balcony. But alas, the deed is done.

Anyway, as midnight drew near, there was still only a slight feeling of excitement in the air. Everyone around us just wanted midnight to pass so that we could go home. The countdown started and I held up my camera to film it. I watched the ball drop through my camera, totally missing the real thing. By the time I had realized what I was doing I was too late. The ball the gone, it was 2011, and the fireworks started.

Taken right after midnight.

Stephanie and I found our way out of the barricade and down the street-- we had to walk a total of 18 blocks to our bus. And that's when we started seeing the drunk people, slowly emerging from bars, not to mention the literally ONE MILLION people rushing out of Times Square. One guy threw up directly in front of us. We just held our breath and moved past really fast.

While we were walking to the bus, Stephanie commented, "I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. Not even the people I don't like." I agreed.

We found our way back to the bus and boarded at around 1:30am. We sat in our seats and fell promptly asleep. The bus left at 2am, and I was able to sleep until about 4am. Then I just started getting miserable. My throat hurt and I was exhausted but fidgety. But I survived, and the bus finally pulled into Dupont Circle in Washington at 6:40am. We got back to my apartment in Arlington at 8:00am and immediately got in bed.

And that is the end of our trip to Times Square for New Years' Eve.

I reiterate Stephanie's comment, I would not recommend the experience to anyone. But I add some qualifiers. If you can book a hotel close to Times Square and don't have to ride the bus home after, your experience will improve dramatically. If you are able to arrive in Times Square at like 9am day of and can wait outside all day and don't mind the standing, you will love the night time hours before midnight because you will be in a spot to see the show, hear the music and announcers, and get all the free hats and noisemakers. On those conditions, I recommend the experience. Or if you like doing things that make you hate being alive, then go right ahead and follow my lead.

But even still, I'm grateful for the opportunity. It really is cool. And not too many people I know can say that they have been in Times Square for New Years' Eve. I mean, it's worth something. I glad I was able to do it... I just won't ever do it again.


:) note: please don't interpret this dramatic representation of the experience as more than it is. I like to sound ridiculous and to make things either seem more awful or way cooler than they actually are. In this case, it actually was really awful, but it was still a cool/good experience!