Back to the basics.

PS, I don't expect ya'll to read all of this. I know it's long and boring. And there are no pictures. And I'm not even funny in this post. But anyway.

My blog needs a little revamping. I've said before that "celebrities are actually a really big part of my life." I was joking. But when you look at my blog, you can see that celebrities, or singers and their music, are my hobbies. Music=never ending enjoyment. And the people who make music=fascinating.

Anyway, I need to expand the scope of what I have been talking about on this here supposed "autobiography" builder. So that's what this post is for.

I'm going to number everything like I used to, back when my blog was about ME.

1. I went to St. George last weekend for my friend Collette's wedding. I actually only got to attend the reception, but I was very happy to be there to support and celebrate her. I went with Elise and Moe (who is pregnant and super adorable, btw), and met Jen, Jon, and baby Eli there. We had a fabulous time feeling awkward standing in the back while we waited to greet the bride. Collette was on color guard with me, Moe, and Jen. We have way too many crazy memories with that girl. Let's just say that color guard would NOT have been the same without her. She certainly kept things interesting with her random bursts of laughter or anger and sometimes sneaky ways.

So while in St. George I was able to spend time with Moe and Jen, and my family. I always love the time I get to spend with my family. They love me way more than I deserve. I love living in Provo, and I love the friends I have here. It is so easy to get caught up in a BYU summer ward social life and stop caring about spending time with outside parties. I knew that I was going to St. George see Collette and my family, but I was in a hurry to get back to Provo because I didn't want to miss out on the fun- and the photo-ops for Lene's future facebook albums. It's interesting, though, that once I got home and took a deep breath, I didn't want to go back to Provo anyway. I had forgotten what peace there is at home and what comfort there is in knowing that the people around you love you more than anyone else in the world does. So when Elise, Moriah, Mom, and Dad tried to get me to stay an extra day, of course I said yes. Of course I wanted to stay in St. George. I just love them too much, and I love my city too much. The longer I was there, the longer I wanted to stay. There were so many more things that I wanted to do while I was there, so many things that I didn't have time for. And when I finally pulled out of my driveway on Monday afternoon, I actually almost shed a tear. My family stood in the driveway to wave goodbye, and I just wanted to stay and take care of them. Wanted to be there to make sure that they were happy and had everything they needed. So my visit to St. George last weekend really just reminded me how important my family is, and how much I need Mom, Dad, Elise, Moriah, Andrew, Mallory, and Stephanie in my life. I love them so much. And they love me back, even if I'm being a Provo brat.

2. I only have one more semester on campus. This fact has recently felt real. Not sure why. But I'm freaking out. Graduating is literally the last thing that I want to do at this moment. I don't like change. And I especially don't like being forced into change. It's like high school graduation all over again. Why did they make me do that again? It was traumatic, leaving that school. I just loved high school too much. I was so happy there.  But I'm just glad that I still have that last semester on campus, and that one other semester of student teaching, during which I can still say that I am a student at BYU, before they make me graduate. I'm glad that I still have a little bit of time to figure out what is going to come next in my life, because I really have no idea. And I am terrified. Literally paralyzed in terror.

3. Number one pet peeve at BYU: When students from outside of Utah trash on Utah and "Utah Mormons." You guys, it really is offensive. I am from Utah, and seriously, I am not a second-rate Mormon because I am from the place in which Brigham Young said, "This is the place." Sure, I went to high school surrounded by LDS kids, some of whom did bad things. They were bad Mormon kids who did not keep the commandments. They took their membership in the church for granted. But I also went to school with many, many really good LDS kids who worked hard, did what they were supposed to, and love love loved being a part of the Lord's restored gospel. So please don't judge. Don't make your derogatory comments about "Utah Mormons" and then laugh and say that you are "in Utah, but not of Utah." Because seriously, it's rude. And I could not be more proud to be from Utah.

4. I have to talk about Freddie for a little bit. Freddie Mercury and the other boys from Queen have possessed my ears for the last month. I listen to them nonstop. I have purchased two albums online in addition to the three that I already had. I just love Freddie's voice and mustache, and the fact that when he performs he pulls the microphone stand half apart and just holds the top piece. And Brian May's guitar solos and crazy hair. And John Deacon's songs and that he is seriously very shy. And Roger Taylor's long long long blonde hair in the '70s, crazy drum skills, and that his voice sounds like Rod Stewart. And I love that they all write their songs individually, and then put the work of all four artists onto one album, giving the music on any given album a variety, but unity with elements of the Queen sound (like the layered harmonies). And I love that they released 14 studio albums. Because you know what that means? A lot of music. And a lot of music that spans a lot of years, which MEANS that the music evolves. A lot. It's very different from the beginning to the end. That gives variety. A lot of sides to Queen. Oh, and I love the British accents. And that they are all so smart. When Queen stopped working together a few years after Freddie died, Brian May went back to school and got a PhD in astrophysics. That's crazy.

And I love that they rarely interviewed throughout their height in popularity. They didn't want to deal with it, so they didn't. And nobody cared. Because it really was the music that was important.

And I love Freddie's solo work. I think it was under appreciated at the time of its release. I mean, I don't actually know for sure, because I wasn't alive. But there is this one song called "Made in Heaven." It touches the soul. He sings about how he knows that everything is meant to be. That there is a reason for everything, and that pain and misery will have a good end. It's just so touching considering how much he suffered. With everything.

My favorite part of the song:
"I'm playing my role in history/
Looking to find my goal/
Taking in all this misery/
But giving it all my soul/"

I'm not going to lie. As I was sitting in the reading room in the L. Tom Perry Special Collections at the Harold B. Lee Library at BYU and listening to this song, I had an epiphany. It inspired me. I just need to find my role in history. I need to find my goal. I won't know what I am going to do after I graduate if I don't even know what the goal is! And even if it's hard and stressful and I hate it, I need to give it all my soul. Cause that's the attitude you have to have. You have to make the best of things, and just work towards the goal. Now I just need to find the goal. Thanks Freddie. 

It's funny, because half of Freddie's songs are silly like "Bicycle Race" and the other half are very meaningful. And I can usually connect them to the limited knowledge that I have about his character and life. I know that he wrote about things that were important to him, but in a vague enough way that his fans could connect to the songs. That's what songwriters are supposed to do, I think.

Last, I watched a clip on YouTube where someone asked Freddie about "We are the Champions." And you know what he said? He said that when he wrote the song, he had the vision of people playing it at football games. He said, "I am not the champion. Queen is not the champion. The song is for everyone. That's what music is. It's for everyone. Everyone is a champion." I liked that. Freddie. So full of wisdom.

4. In the midst of Queen, I have found some new Michael Jackson songs I love. Don't look at me like that, I can't abandon my roots. So there's this one. It's called "On The Line," and it practically gives me goosebumps. But it's a happy song. And it sounds different from anything else he has done. I like it.

5. I passed the Praxis. I am certified to teach high school, after student teaching anyway. (but is that what I even want??! Mass confusion, I tell you what. )

6. When I was younger and I thought about schoolwork or the football game that weekend every second of my life, I used to fall asleep doing my homework in my head. Like, if I knew that I had a paper to write, and I needed to work out the introduction, I would compose it in my head as I fell asleep. I would lay it all out so that when I worked on it the next day, the thinking was already done. It was a lot of fun. And super helpful. I've gotten lazy and a lot less focused now, and I have decided that I should put more effort and energy into my school work this fall. I mean, seriously, it might be the last time I take college classes. Ever.

Okay, I'm scaring myself, I need to go to bed. Doesn't not ever going to classes again sound like the worst idea EVER? I want to be an eternal student. Always learning. Writing more papers, reading more books, and taking mores notes. I love taking notes. And I love highlighting in textbooks. But that is partly because I was not allowed to do that in high school. It's still a bit of a novelty. Plus, the colors look pretty on the page.  Oh heck, please don't make me graduate. It might give me a heart attack.

Signing off,
Audrey Spainhower.

Sneak peek of upcoming posts: The best day of the year: July 4, and July 16: HP6 anniversary celebration.