#repentance.
I have something to say.
The new Taylor Swift album is great.
I was REALLY skeptical about the "pop" thing. And after I first heard "Shake It Off" and the rest of the album I was convinced that Taylor had lost her sparkle and was no longer special. I thought her music had lost it's relatable factor and was just a pile of mush.
You see, when Red came out, I was convinced that Taylor Swift was inspired and somehow knew how my life was going to go, wrote songs about it, and then released them only at the opportune moment for my life story. And then 1989 just made no sense to me.
Well. I think she is just becoming more clairvoyant. Events in my life this week have proven that Taylor Swift knows exactly what she is talking about, and she continues to write songs about my life and my feelings.
So, bravo pop Taylor. Thank you for helping me trace out the life plan of my emotions.
The only dreadful part is that it appears I will be in relationship turmoil until the next installment.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
I, Audrey Spainhower, have become an uninteresting person.
And it has got to stop.
When I was 17 I learned from John Bytheway that interesting people were interested. Like interested in things.
So I was just thinking, when was the last time I was GENUINELY interested in something? Like, really excited?
It's been a long time. Like, since the advent of Ed Sheeran, probably.
So, in thinking about all the things that would be beneficial to be interested in, 2 solid things come to mind:
1. Cooking. I feel guilty on the DAILY that I am not a good enough cook. And so then I try to find the motivation to cook better and more often, but then I realize, again, that I don't really care that much. Like, people sometimes have a hard time understanding how or why I have the patience for scrapbooking. And I'm like, how do you have the patience to prepare a nice meal and then sit there and wait for it to cook when you are so hungry (because it is meal time and that roast is taking FOREVER)???
2. Working out. I mean, how COOL would it be if I was like, obsessed with working out? So cool. I am convinced that I have never actually learned how to work out right, or else I would probably see more results and like it more. I mean, I feel like I used to like going to the gym more, but now I just really have a hard time finding the time. So. Imagine you want to go in the morning, but you have to be to work by 8. Who in the world would ever want to wake up at 5am and go out into the freezing cold to get to the gym and work out? I don't know about everyone else, but I'm usually pretty tired and 5am. So that's out. Okay, so say you want to go to the gym after work. You come home, you are tired, and STARVING for dinner. You eat dinner (and it's a healthy dinner... just not one that took long to prepare). Say dinner is over at 6:30. You have plans at 8. So you think, I could go to the gym for 45 minutes, and then have 45 minutes to shower and get ready. First of all, 45 minutes is literally not enough time at the gym, nor is it enough time to shower and get ready and BE somewhere besides your own house. You literally don't have time. Besides that, do you really want to wash your face an extra time? Do you want to have to do your hair and makeup for a second time that day? I mean, it's just exhausting, and drying out your skin is a real possibility.
So I've been reading this book about self-betrayal and the lies we tell ourselves to keep us from doing the actual right things. Like, say you need to visit your aunt at the hospital. You don't actually want to go there. In thinking about the visit, you somehow convince yourself of how awful it will be, because your aunt is awkward and you will have nothing to talk about. The next minute you start thinking about how your aunt is probably thinking the same thing and there is a high chance she actually doesn't want you to come. And now, you find yourself still sitting on a couch, and your aunt gets no visitors.
The descriptions above about cooking and exercising? Self-betrayal.
I could do all of those things if I really wanted to -- if I really decided they were important. And sometimes a person has to find motivation in the right things, not in the things that are most fascinating to them. I guarantee that both of those things would become more interesting to me if I applied myself. AND, then I could become a person who both cooks delicious food and is more fit and potentially a lot thinner.
(Although... I have doubts about any desire to be thinner. I would really prefer not to replace my wardrobe.)
Anyway, all I'm saying is that something has got to change. Most recently I feel like I've run out of time to be interested in things. Like, there are just TOO MANY things to do all the time. Life was so much simpler in the days of undergrad when the only thing there was to worry about is school assignments and if the gas in your car will last you another week until you get a paycheck.
And that is that, the end. No longer will my time disappear into a little black hole.
When I was 17 I learned from John Bytheway that interesting people were interested. Like interested in things.
So I was just thinking, when was the last time I was GENUINELY interested in something? Like, really excited?
It's been a long time. Like, since the advent of Ed Sheeran, probably.
So, in thinking about all the things that would be beneficial to be interested in, 2 solid things come to mind:
1. Cooking. I feel guilty on the DAILY that I am not a good enough cook. And so then I try to find the motivation to cook better and more often, but then I realize, again, that I don't really care that much. Like, people sometimes have a hard time understanding how or why I have the patience for scrapbooking. And I'm like, how do you have the patience to prepare a nice meal and then sit there and wait for it to cook when you are so hungry (because it is meal time and that roast is taking FOREVER)???
2. Working out. I mean, how COOL would it be if I was like, obsessed with working out? So cool. I am convinced that I have never actually learned how to work out right, or else I would probably see more results and like it more. I mean, I feel like I used to like going to the gym more, but now I just really have a hard time finding the time. So. Imagine you want to go in the morning, but you have to be to work by 8. Who in the world would ever want to wake up at 5am and go out into the freezing cold to get to the gym and work out? I don't know about everyone else, but I'm usually pretty tired and 5am. So that's out. Okay, so say you want to go to the gym after work. You come home, you are tired, and STARVING for dinner. You eat dinner (and it's a healthy dinner... just not one that took long to prepare). Say dinner is over at 6:30. You have plans at 8. So you think, I could go to the gym for 45 minutes, and then have 45 minutes to shower and get ready. First of all, 45 minutes is literally not enough time at the gym, nor is it enough time to shower and get ready and BE somewhere besides your own house. You literally don't have time. Besides that, do you really want to wash your face an extra time? Do you want to have to do your hair and makeup for a second time that day? I mean, it's just exhausting, and drying out your skin is a real possibility.
So I've been reading this book about self-betrayal and the lies we tell ourselves to keep us from doing the actual right things. Like, say you need to visit your aunt at the hospital. You don't actually want to go there. In thinking about the visit, you somehow convince yourself of how awful it will be, because your aunt is awkward and you will have nothing to talk about. The next minute you start thinking about how your aunt is probably thinking the same thing and there is a high chance she actually doesn't want you to come. And now, you find yourself still sitting on a couch, and your aunt gets no visitors.
The descriptions above about cooking and exercising? Self-betrayal.
I could do all of those things if I really wanted to -- if I really decided they were important. And sometimes a person has to find motivation in the right things, not in the things that are most fascinating to them. I guarantee that both of those things would become more interesting to me if I applied myself. AND, then I could become a person who both cooks delicious food and is more fit and potentially a lot thinner.
(Although... I have doubts about any desire to be thinner. I would really prefer not to replace my wardrobe.)
Anyway, all I'm saying is that something has got to change. Most recently I feel like I've run out of time to be interested in things. Like, there are just TOO MANY things to do all the time. Life was so much simpler in the days of undergrad when the only thing there was to worry about is school assignments and if the gas in your car will last you another week until you get a paycheck.
And that is that, the end. No longer will my time disappear into a little black hole.
So, summer recap part 2 didn't happen.
What is my life?
Only full of all the things except blogging, I guess.
July and August were cool--- In August I went to St. George twice-- once for the Mojo's birthday, and once for the ED SHEERAN CONCERT.
That is most of the epicness that must be described.
The concert was at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas and included an 8-hour wait in line (aka concert prison, aka we had no food, aka security escorts to the bathroom) and a long-ish concert complete with small children and camera-head-balancers in the crowd. It was, um, not actually as enjoyable as desired. Ed was just not into it that night, which was a crying shame, especially because the whole thing was kind of miserable. Last time I saw Ed it was pretty much the best concert of my life. I mean, he's a solid performer-- the show just lacked a little passion.
Anyway.
Since then I've seen Relient K and Bastille in concert. Both were very amazing. I don't know Relient K well, but my sisters and I went to support and party with Elise, and she was SO FUN to watch, just boppin around and sweating and having a great time.
Bastille was incredible. There are, like, moments frozen in time from that concert. Ah. I will see them again. I will.
And now, guess who's nominated for best new artist for the 2015 grammys??? Sam Smith AND Bastille. How does one pick a winner between two loved ones? I'm thinking Sam because I see him having more long term staying power.
This fall has been a whirlwind of drama and boy and family and fun and lotsa lotsa goings on, many of which is documented via instagram.
I'm enjoying my job more, so that's good. I scrapbook never, so that's bad.
And apparently I can only blog in random thoughts anymore. I feel like all the things I would want to tell about are too private for a blog post, which is sad.
And is it okay if that is the end of the 2014 recap and I can move on with my life??
Only full of all the things except blogging, I guess.
July and August were cool--- In August I went to St. George twice-- once for the Mojo's birthday, and once for the ED SHEERAN CONCERT.
That is most of the epicness that must be described.
The concert was at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas and included an 8-hour wait in line (aka concert prison, aka we had no food, aka security escorts to the bathroom) and a long-ish concert complete with small children and camera-head-balancers in the crowd. It was, um, not actually as enjoyable as desired. Ed was just not into it that night, which was a crying shame, especially because the whole thing was kind of miserable. Last time I saw Ed it was pretty much the best concert of my life. I mean, he's a solid performer-- the show just lacked a little passion.
Anyway.
Since then I've seen Relient K and Bastille in concert. Both were very amazing. I don't know Relient K well, but my sisters and I went to support and party with Elise, and she was SO FUN to watch, just boppin around and sweating and having a great time.
Bastille was incredible. There are, like, moments frozen in time from that concert. Ah. I will see them again. I will.
And now, guess who's nominated for best new artist for the 2015 grammys??? Sam Smith AND Bastille. How does one pick a winner between two loved ones? I'm thinking Sam because I see him having more long term staying power.
This fall has been a whirlwind of drama and boy and family and fun and lotsa lotsa goings on, many of which is documented via instagram.
I'm enjoying my job more, so that's good. I scrapbook never, so that's bad.
And apparently I can only blog in random thoughts anymore. I feel like all the things I would want to tell about are too private for a blog post, which is sad.
And is it okay if that is the end of the 2014 recap and I can move on with my life??
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