Moe

I have this best friend named Moe. She is one of my favorite people of all time.


She had a birthday yesterday. August 8th.

Somehow, I missed that birthday. I remembered everyday up until that day. But then forgot. I am a horrible friend, and Moe, I am begging forgiveness.

In recompense, and this is something I should have done anyway, I am going to list 22 reasons/stories that explain why I love my bestie Moe.

1. She has really really really soft and silky brown hair that she used to let me braid all the time. When she was a techie for Les Mis and I was in the ensemble, I would sit on her side of the stage and braid her hair during rehearsal.

2. She used to have a wart on her knee. And she was proud of that wart. The two of us were on Preference royalty, and during her little clip of the assembly movie when they asked her what was unique about herself, she pulled up her pant leg and showed off that wart. Don't know why. But I loved her for it.

3. She was on color guard with me, and along with Jen, we battled on together. She often took my side in uniform battles with Robin, Heather, and Collette, even if she didn't care either way (I guess that's what is good about having a dominant "white" for a best friend. :)).

4. She took AP US History with me and Jen. We were a dream team in that class. And one day while we were in class, actually one of the days that we wore our color guard day uniforms to school, she had an itch on her leg. She was itching and noticed something strange. She reached up her pant leg, and started to pull. A fleshy-colored thing started to come out... and low and behold, and entire pair of nylons had been stuffed in her pant leg. All day. It was one of the funniest moments of my life.

5. Moe is inventive in the way that she makes herself so beautiful everyday. One day her eyelashes looked like a zebra. It was because she likes to use a hair dryer to warm up her eyelash curler before using it on her eyelashes so that they curl better. She learned the hard way that a hot eyelash curler would melt off mascara that was already on her eyelashes... I love that Moe.

6. She responds to all sorts of nicknames: Slow Moe, Moe Schmoe, Moenika Louise, Preg-Moe, etc.

7. When we were freshman at Dixie State, we would run around together like crazies. We went to a cool college Halloween party at the Staheli barn/corn maze in BATMAN CAPES. That Jen and I made. We had no other costume besides that. I remember that we left the house to go to the party, but then realized that we didn't actually know how to get there. So, we stopped and asked a man at the gas station. He told us, and then we got in the car to drive away. Somehow, neither of us had listened to the man explain the directions because we assumed the other person would. We still didn't know how to get there. Oh the problems we caused ourselves.


8. She always goes along with my crazy schemes. She did not even try to stop me from being the most annoying sophomore of all time. Which I appreciated, because I had a lot of fun. She didn't even stop me the night I terrorized the Preference dance. Somehow, Moe, Heather, and I were put in charge of the fog machines. We sat in the rafters above the dance. And threw marshmallows. At the dancers. Let's just say it caused some problems. It was not one of my best decisions. But Moe was gracious enough to let me have my fun.


9. When we were 18, and I had still never been kissed, I had problems with my jaw. I still don't know what was up with that. But it was painful.  Moe's diagnosis, however, was that my jaw wasn't getting enough "exercise." Eww.

10. Moe makes a certain face every time she looks in the mirror.

11. Moe is going to have a baby. A little girl. I love that little girl, because she will be a mini Moe.

Moe being an adorable bottle of bubbles, before we put the costumes on. Unfortunately I don't have a picture of the actual costumes)

12. One year for Halloween, Moe, Jen, and I decided to be bottles of bubbles. I credit Jen with the fantastic idea. Jen had an awful work schedule that fall, so she had little time to make the costumes. Moe and I took on the responsibility and worked on the costumes for hours. Together we were able to build my favorite Halloween costume of all time. And we won the "bubbliest costume" award at a Halloween party.

13. Moe and I used to like to drive to the Smith's parking lot and make fun of the college kids who would go there to hang out and meet up with each other. We thought it was funny to watch the gathering and then see it disperse in mere seconds once a cop showed up. We thought the college kids were lame. We were the lame ones with nothing else to do but spy on the kids we thought were lame.

14. Also during our Freshman year in college, we went to lunch together almost every day. She would pick me up at 11:00am after my institute class. Every Wednesday we went to Cafe Rio. We would usually get there and be in line before they actually opened. We would get our food- exactly the same order every week- and often, we would share. It was a pork burrito with black beans and mild sauce. And for at least the first 5 minutes of eating, we would just rant and rave about how delicious it was. My mouth is literally watering just thinking about it. On Tuesdays we went to Fazolis because there was a Tuesday deal on the Kids' Meal. I love me some Fazoli's lasagna.



15. She calls me Audrina. Or Drina. Or just Drin. I love it. She got it from Audrina on The Hills. I love that too.


16. One day Moe arrived at my house so that we could get up to our usual shenanigans, and she was VERY excited about something. She had just heard a song on the radio that she LOVED the first time she heard it, which is unusual, you know. And so when the song ended, she listened really hard to hear who it was by. And guess who it was? The Backstreet Boys. The song: "Incomplete." I love Moe because she loves the Backstreet Boys too.



17. When Moe was getting married and trying to pick the date, she thought about getting married on July 21, 2007: the day that HP7 was released. I told her that even though it would be a huge sacrifice, I would come to her wedding instead of being up North for my regular Harry Potter reading traditions. She changed the date. (Okay fine, I know that HP wasn't the only reason).

18. Dairy Queen is a traditional spot for all my friends and I, but particularly for me, Moe, and Jen. We had a special booth. I love Moe because she loves Dairy Queen as much as I do. We used to convince the workers boys to give us extra chicken nuggets and stuff. And Moe introduced me to Dairy Queen gravy. Yum.

The 3 of us at DQ, after a basketball game.

19. When we were sophomores in high school, we were very poor. We both had to save money to go on the Denver trip with the color guard. So, we had a bake sale. We made trillions of giant cookies and carried them around in a basket at school to sell them. Never in a million years would I do that again. But it was a lot of fun with Moe.


20. Moe and I also had the same teacher for chemistry. We both struggled a bit in that class. One day, when we were both dying and needed a load of extra credit, we decided to suck up to our teacher a little bit. This might actually be one of the times when Moe just followed the plan and stuck her name on it. But we did it together. We made a giant banner for Mr. Rea, our teacher. It said something to the effect of, "Mr. Rea is the best teacher ever. He is our favorite." It was giant and overpowering and ridiculous. But gave it to him, and he loved it. And we got extra credit.


21. She snorts when she laughs sometimes.


22. Another year on Halloween, we dressed up in Vanessa's old dance costumes. Moe dressed as a pregnant hippie. I think that's all I need to say. Moe. is. so. funny.

Me and Moe at her wedding. I was a lucky bridesmaid. I want to add that Jen and I threw her our first bridal shower ever. It was bomb.

One day I was really mad at Moe because she was blowing me off for her fiance (And okay, this was literally the only time I was actually ever mad and hurt because of Moe). We had made plans, but she literally ditched me. I was really ticked. I finally got a hold of her (she wasn't answering her phone for like two hours), and she hadn't even left the place she had said she was going to leave like three hours before. I told her not to come anymore and hung up on her. And then I drove to Kennedy's house, crying. It was ridiculous, but really, I was just horrified and so sad to be losing a best friend. I knew that she didn't care about me nearly as much as she cared about Steve, and that hurt. I was 19 and didn't understand (Hmmm, this is sounding familiar-- I felt this exact same way when my brother got married. I'm sensing a pattern. Maybe I am afraid of losing things. Of being abandoned. I don't know. Change. I am afraid of change.). I felt left behind and betrayed. About a week later (and the day before Moe's wedding) my family had to move out of our house on very short notice (literally the worst 24 hours of my life). I took a break from packing and moving to go to Cafe Rio with Moe and Steve. I just remember driving there and sobbing, sobbing, sobbing. I was crying because of the stress of moving, but mostly it just really hit me that she was getting married and things would never be the same again. Moe was so sweet, though. We ate our most delicious pork burritos with black beans and mild sauce enchilada style, but no lettuce and no salsa, discussing in great length how delicious our food was. I don't know, it was just nice. Moe stuck by my side for a long time, and I finally passed her off into the care of Steve that night. She was a really good side kick. Such a giver in our relationship. I was such a selfish taker, and she put up with that.


It's been three years since that happened. I still love my Moe, even though I forgot her birthday. Me and Moe have been best friends for about 7 years. Other best friends have come (like her husband, and all my Provo friends) and some of them will go, but me and Moe are forever, I think. I don't ever want to lose her as a friend.

Moe, thanks for being so great! And I hope that you had a fantastic birthday. I hope that 22 treats just as good as 15-21 have!