My birthday party: a comedy of errors.

After getting to bed around 3:30am the night before, the morning of April 13-- party day-- came a little too early.

There was just too many things to do, I couldn't sleep in at all.

First of all, party preparation consisted of like a solid month before the party. I had a schedule all written out for when things needed to get done, where to buy certain things, who to borrow from, etc. I had to make the pinatas, build the photo booth, do all the shopping, decorate, figure out that blasted confetti situation, etc.

The first order of business that day was the bounce house. The handy Joshua Small drove me to Kaysville in his very handy truck. The bouncy house company, as it turns out, was in this guy's backyard. He had a garage full of blow up toys. What a career, right? Sign me up. I handed him cash and we drove away with the bouncy house in tow.

It was extremely easy to set up. Seriously, I recommend bouncy houses to everyone and all. Life cannot be that much more fun than it is when you have a bouncy house in your front yard.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

hilarious happening #1: We didn't do up the zipper in the back of the bounce house. But the velcro was attached. So when we blew up it, it blew up big. And then we bounced and had a grand old time...until Dawna and Lauren were bouncing together and POOF the whole thing exploded and Lauren and Dawna found themselves smacking into the ground. Luckily Smalls was still around to solve the problem, and we had the bounce back in that house in a jiffy.

And so the afternoon commenced with what I like to call a slight case of Audrey Party Panic Syndrome. Really, I was pretty calm, considering. I'm usually a basket case. The real panic started around 6pm when I realized that it WASN'T going to stop raining and warm up.

hilarious happening #2: IT WOULDN'T STOP RAINING. The bounce house was soaked-- there were bubbles blowing out of all the seams because the air was coming out and pushing through all the wet. I wasn't able to set up anything outside.The projector and screen. The twinkly lights. The Pinata. The glow-in-the-dark bubbles. This has just given me another GIANT reason to dislike/borderline hate rain.

To accommodate for inclement weather, we moved the Michael Jackson music video viewing to the basement. My kind roommates helped me set up the lights and everything down there. And it did look good. Meanwhile, my Mom made the best cake of all time while my sisters (Elise and Steph) napped. Elise and Mom eventually made a trip to the party store for me while I ran around with my arms flailing and my head cut off (party panic was now in full swing), and then people started to arrive.

Laura Thomas, bless her soul, was first on the scene.

hilarious happening #3: The glow-in-the-dark bubbles didn't work despite several trial runs and a number of tests to find the optimum ratio of glow to bubble liquid that left my downstairs storage room covered in glow soap. It's because I used the itty bitty bottles of bubbles that they use at weddings in the final product (so more than 2 individuals could participate at one time), and those little bubbles must just be very crappy. But so I set everything up anyway, hoping that someone would get it to work. And just a hint: adding the glow (highlighter guts) makes the bubbles heavy and very pop-prone. They will not float along and then pop on your arm, leaving a glowing circle as imagined.

And then they started coming in droves. I was overwhelmed by all my friends! The party began and my attention was demanded everywhere--just exactly the way I like it. I kept sneaking away to have real conversations with people, though, and then I would get in trouble because more guests would arrive and want to see me! I felt so special. But...I guess that's what happens when you have a birthday party and all the people that are invited are your friends. But this aspect of the party was splendid. I loved seeing everyone, and every time someone new came in, I got so excited! I was especially excited to see any of my Provo friends-- for many of them, it was the first time they had come to visit me in Salt Lake.

I was saddened, however, by the lack of certain people. A fair few promised they were coming...and then didn't show up. And then there are just so many people who I love and don't live in Utah anymore.You know who you are.

The following is a small selection of photo booth photos. My favorite part: The white board messages.

do you see this awesome backdrop??? I decided not to care that it ended up looking like maize from the first Thanksgiving.

Elise :)

Provo YSA 6th Ward 

My bff Chris and the b-day present he brought me-- Harry Styles

My Salt Lake besties

this was not expected. 

Fan Club

nathan+me+his roommate...Josh?

The photo booth was a hit, especially at the beginning. Once a lot of people started to arrive, though, it got too crowded for photo snapping. Which leads to:

hilarious happening #4: I borrowed a camera from a friend for the photobooth-- he insisted. It was a digital polaroid camera, which meant that we could print out pictures for everyone but still keep a copy on the memory card. Which is super cool and adorable, right? Well, the printer jammed. About 3 pictures in. So then Elise, who was assigned to the photobooth, spend most of the evening trying to un-jam the camera instead of taking pictures. Makes me so happy when I think about it.

Once a sufficient crowd had gathered, I decided it was pinata time.

hilarious happening #5: The first pinata broke on the first hit by the first person. The second pinata, (and I had no desire to participate) was broken by yours truly after an embarrassing, dizzying foray into the crowd where I almost hit someone and then proceeded to smack the metal railings and the porch with the bat. I was told later that Andrea, who controlled the ups and downs of the pinata, kept it out of my reach for a large part of the time I was dangerously swinging that bat. I should have controlled the pinata. That way I might not have been forced the be spun around, blind folded. Awkward name chants get you every time. You would think that a person's wishes would be respected at their own party. That they threw for themselves. And you know what the worst part is? Elise and Dawna were assigned to take pictures. I gave Elise my camera (because the other was broken, obvi). Is there one picture of the pinata adventure? no. none at all.

So after the pinata was a dud, we went back to partying. And I was having a grand time, despite previous embarrassments. So far the only part of my party plan that had not let me down was the cereal bar. And holy cow, so many people brought cookies! I had cookies coming out of my ears! Man, I love cereal and cookies. So, great success on that point.

As the night wore on, and more people kept coming, I decided it was time for the confetti. After much pained and stressful deliberation I decided that we should blast off the confetti in the park behind my house. The confetti I had was biodegradable, so I wasn't worried about littering (that had been a significant concern a couple days and weeks earlier), but I didn't want to get little paper craps in my neighbors' yards. I figured they wouldn't be too happy with me.

So I made the whole party come outside and we walked down the street to the park. And everyone was shivering and complaining about how cold it was.

hilarious happening #6: Somehow I failed to think about how we were going to LOAD the cannon (compliments of BFF Nick Weaver, btw). And so everyone is shivering and I'm trying to smash the confetti into the cannon and it is flying all over of the place, and it's taking forever and then I finally get it ready to go and we light it and shoot off the blast and....we couldn't see anything. It went too high or it was too dark or the confetti was too small or something, but we couldn't even see the confetti, and the beautiful rain of colors that I had been anticipating for months was not something I experienced. EPIC FAIL. And you know what? I did trial runs. We tested out the cannon with water and with flour, and it totally worked, and we got flour and water all over the place. But on the night before my birth, it was not so.

trying to jam that confetti in there

Can you see the blast? no. Also, this picture is deceiving. You can't see all the people. They are standing in the  darkness.

And so then everyone marched back to my house and a lot of people decided it was time to go, which was fine. I was getting a little bit sick of things going wrong. Shout out to my pals at the Church History Library, though. They stayed the longest and were some of the first to arrive. They spent a lot of time with Michael Jackson, in the basement.

So the house cleared out around 11:30. Which, really, is just what I wanted. My roommates went to bed, and I started cleaning up, but not before I sunk down on the couch and started pondering about the meaning of life. This is what we call Post-Party Depression. You sit there and you wonder if all your work was worth it and then you question whether or not you have any meaningful relationships, because you had just witnessed an entire evening of half-finished surface-level conversations with many, many people. And then you look at the mess and think, where is the cleaning lady??? Who forgot to hire her?

I stayed up until about 2am loading the few pictures that were taken onto my computer and then trying to un-jam that stupid camera (I don't even talk to that boy anymore, anyway.) I eventually had to write to Polaroid for help and they sent me some instructions for this software update and stuff that helped the paper spit itself out. So no harm done.

I have to emphasize, again, how happy I was to see everyone. It really was just so fun to have so many of my friends packed into my house all at the same time. There were a lot of people who showed up that I wasn't expecting, and I was delighted. And I think that people had fun. So, despite all the disappointments and all the things that failed, the party, I think, was a whopping success. And I got to keep the bouncy house until Monday!

And I will definitely remember this party for a long, long time. :)

And we out.

Man on the Moon

(This post was started and meant to be posted at the end of March. That's how bad I've been about blogging. So it's much more lame than anticipated. Sorry about that.)

This week was a bit of a crazy one. And I have a feeling that all ya'll would love it if I chronicled it for you.

just a note: One Dani Everton told me that I needed more pictures on my blog.

good news: I took some pictures this week.

And so the week began with a quick lunch trip to Cafe Rio in which I have finally filled another card. Yes, I get a free meal next time I show up at Cafe Rio for the most delicious burrito in the world. Nathan and I were rush rush rushing because we really don't have enough time to drive somewhere, eat, and come back in 45 minutes. But we totally made it---like 7 minutes early. I was going to miss a meeting.

Monday evening was BYU time. Second round NIT game at the Marriott Center. And we creamed that team. by like 20. I got an extra ticket from Nathan and got to sit by the lovely Seth and Amelia---and at half time hung out with Dani and Amy and THE BABY!!!!!!!! That baby is probably the sweetest thing I have experienced in 2013. Not probably. Certainly.

We stopped at the Sev on 5th and University Ave on the way home and I got a slurpie. It felt like I was actually back in the Provo life. Sigh.

Tuesday was a rush of getting ready for the Relief Society birthday dinner (which was on Wednseday--see below for why I could not attend) in time for the boy's basketball stake tournament. Our boys played in the final four and then the championship game. But I'm getting ahead of myself. The Relief Society dinner decorations and preparations. We combined with the family ward in our building. And they were in charge of most everything, we were just supposed to help set up and serve food and take down and everything. I was on set up duty, and I made my roommates come too (again, for the issue of time. I didn't want to miss too much of those sweaty boys playing basketball). And let's put it this way: there is a massive difference between a family ward RS activity and a YSA ward RS activity. We YSA's are all about preparing quickly and then socializing. We don't get into the fancy stuff. We don't have time for that. There is too much socializing to be done. A bare minimum of decorations and a potluck with a program will work for us. BUT those family ward ladies REALLY get into it. I experienced the stereotypical relief society activity. It was all about decorations and fancy dinner and center pieces and literally 10 different kinds of cake. I mean, it was lovely. And everything looked delicious (again, I didn't partake), but really???? Who has time for that? Wives whose children are all in school or have left the house, that's who. Omg can't wait for those days in my life. :)

But so basketball. The ward provided pizza and delicious treats for the spectators and we basically just yelled for a long time. I had made a habit of bringing orange slices and capri sun for our boys, but the bishopric covered that this time. :) We KILLED in the semi-finals (won by like 30, which is incredible for a low-scoring church basketball deal), but then lost in the championship, mostly because two of our best players had to leave between games for a city league game they had. But we still made it to regionals! That means the season isn't over yet, thank goodness.

I have decided that one of my special skills is being a fan. A supporter. I will come and support you in a play or concert or athletic event or whatever. I may not be able to play basketball myself, but I sure love to cheer for the people who can.

Wednesday was PHILLIP PHILLIPS. Not quite an Ed Sheeran status event. Really. But I do love Phillip and it was a great concert. Part of the greatness was that I got to hang out with my Audrey Baer! And Phillip was so adorable and charming...except he said that he was kind of sick and so think he was  little high on cold medicine because he kept saying weird things. And there was this one girl by us who kept getting SO EXCITED and she was like bouncing all over the place and running into people and her boy just stood there and watched. It was quite hilarious.

hey there Phil.

we, we, we. we so excited.

And did I say that a band called Churchill opened for Phil? They were awesome. And Audrey couldn't stop talking about how perfect the girl was. We wanted to be her. The lead singer guy was like all into coming out into the crowd but I'm so glad he didn't come right by us because he was muy sweaty. He looked kind of like a dirtier and hairier Mika.

A little Mika-ish, right? Maybe I'm crazy.

Churchill. the perfect girl is on the right.

But Phillip played all of our favorite songs plus a bunch that were covers and not even on his album (that was mildly irritating), but we sang every word and my throat hurt a bit because I was so thirsty.

I love concerts.

Thursday was a waffle party and visiting teaching and I have NO IDEA what happened on Friday. Probably I just slept because I was so tired from all the other events of the week.

But Saturday was the color festival at the Hare Krishna temple in Spanish Fork!!!! But I had to help clean the church in the morning, and then I went to the gym, and THEN I drove to Provo to meet Audrey and Stacia and Brandon and whatshisname. And we played with the colors and had a grand time jumping and chanting and dancing until this one girl who was crowd surfing landed on me and Brandon and it hurt. Why are the colors so fun? Because how hilarious is it when you have purple snot for like a week? And I was still finding pink in my ear after showering and cleaning out my ears on the 5th consecutive day. So hilarious. It really is just a blast.

So we went to Sonic after the festival because we were all dying of thirst and if you just drink water it tastes like all the chalk in your mouth. nasty. So we needed delicious sonic limeraspberryricki flavor.

I rushed back to Salt Lake and showered and then Steph came and picked me up for a party and sleepover over at Grandma Colleen's. We ate Easter dinner and then watched "Glass Bottom Boat" (my fave Doris Day flick) while I did Gma's nails. I squared the tips of her nails for the first time in her life. And I filed and buffed and polished and they looked lovely. :) We left after breakfast on Easter morning so Steph and I could get back to Provo and Salt Lake (respectively) for church.

And that is the story the last week in March. Way more information than anyone ever needed to know. but you better have enjoyed the pictures, because that is literally the only reason that I finished this post.

And here's a little note from Ed, you know, to make your day better.

April Fools

A day which will live in infamy:

The top 3 worst April Fools jokes of all time:

1. When a friend from high school posted an obituary-like status update on facebook. I literally cried. Don't ever try this one. It is not funny at all.

2. When Mugglenet pretended that a marriage between founder Emerson Spartz and the founder of the Leaky Cauldron website, Melissa Anelli, would create a marriage between the two sites. It was called "LeakyMug" and I nearly cried. All the good content was gone! There was a reason why I was not a Leaky Cauldron fan, but a Mugglenet fan!! It is a better website! And the editorial section that I was so enthralled with had been compromised as a result of the marriage. I was devastated...until April 2nd.

3. LENE BOTOLFSEN PRETENDED THAT SHE WAS COMING BACK TO BYU. That happened today. And I didn't believe her and I am still sad. She got me to imagine what it would be like and I was starting to get excited and hopeful and.....then I crashed.

Some other things:

I am IN LOVE with the new OneRepublic album, Native. Listen to it. On repeat. Oh how I love that Ryan Tedder. Some of my favorite songs: "Counting Stars," "Preacher," "Life in Color," "I Lived," and "Can't Stop." And literally I could just name all of them. Because I love them all. Totally worth the wait and the mystery and the suspense.

Also, Party plans for my birthday are in full swing. I have already booked the bounce house.

And that's it.

Stay tuned for a post WITH PICTURES.

IDK what this is about.

1. Don't worry. I just filled out 4 brackets. That might be a record for me. I usually have like 2. Maybe 3. Favorite bracket name I came up with: #winning. BAHAHAHA.

2. This weekend I partied hard at the wedding reception of one Megan Marie Knell (Yates). I wandered into her reception by myself and found her in the crowd. She turned and looked at me with sheer shock and excitement that I was there, and I was just SO HAPPY to see her. Seriously I think it had been since 2010 when I ran into her in the library and BYU. And she is such a dear friend and such an amazing person. We spent a lot of time together in high school, but we first met on the stake pioneer trek in 2003. We were sisters and both the new kids. She was my favorite. :) But so anyway, I started blubbering like a baby. It was embarrassing. I rarely get emotional about, like, anything. But I really love my friends. And Megan Knell is just one of those dear people that you kind of just want to keep with you forever. And so we hugged like 3 times and just kept saying "I love you!!!" and it was great. But quite blubbery on my part. Ick. The wedding, by the way, was gorgeous and amazing and all I would have imagined it to be. I am so happy for her. And I was so happy to be able to make it to the reception.

But so anyway, I called Elise while coming home from the reception and confessed that I was no longer in the mood to go to this St. Patrick's Day party that I was planning on. I didn't feel like being social anymore...I had just been blubbering. And I was feeling sorry for myself about not being married or having a child (I had just read Dani's blog post of her baby's birth story and was seriously feeling a lot of jealousy). Somehow my mother pulled it out of Elise that I wasn't going to the party anymore, and then I get a text from mother instructing me to go to the party so that I could meet boys.

I just think that I do a very good job of being social and I am only upset about the marriage thing like 1% of my life, so I'm pretty sure that taking ONE night off isn't going to kill me. And by the time I got home I was feeling pretty much better anyway, so that's when I went bowling. See #3.

3. I also partied at the random bowling alley on 3300 South on Friday night. With some buddies. I bowled an 85. Not. too. shabby.

4. The next party took place on Saturday at my cousin Samuel's play. He was a star. Check my instagram for a movie poster-esque ad for the play. It was Shakespeare. Troilus and Cressida. And it was really awesome. Sam was a lead and had to kiss and be all over this girl. I was like, WHOA THERE LITTLE BOY (it was like when Bieber kisses that girl at the end of that Chris Brown video and you mourn the loss of baby bieber). He's 17....but he's my little cousin. It was weird. He's such a doll, though. And the play was intense. I was literally on the edge of my seat. :)

5. Our second roller blading escapade happened this afternoon. We did the usual visits and then we tried to ride past one of those signs that tells cars how much over the speed limit they are going. We were under, just so you know. A whopping 6mph. Pretty sure we are going to try for higher speeds next week. We also got severals offers from boys with bikes to pull us waterski style behind them. I think that sounds delightfully dangerous and it will happen in the near future. But I might buy some knee pads first. Or maybe just the cool-looking wrist guards (because I'm pretty sure I will catch myself with my hands if I fall and my wrists are already fairly fragile).


And there you go. Some random random for your reading pleasure.

that girl.

I have a small sister who, as a 5 year old, called herself Moriah Jo Space.

We don't know why.

Yesterday she texted all of her siblings this message:

"So it has just occurred to me that I should let you guys know your other identities/twins/dopplegangers.....Stephanie: the main girl on 10 things I hate about you. Audrey: Topanga. Andrew: the Luck of the Irish Boy. Elise: Cascada. Mallory: Girl from mean girls with the backwards k on her neck."

I get to hang out with that Sparklepop today. My favorite little Sugardoll.

We are going to the Salt Lake temple together. To do baptisms.

hashtag heart.

Upon request

Attention: based on content, parts of this post might only be visible for a short time. Like a day. So get a peek while you can!

1. In the wise words of Lauren Conrad on The Hills, "they'll send you a text because they know that you just stopped thinking about them. It's like a radar."

2. I found the perfect description for Salt Lake boys. The Mormon Bachelor Pad blog. Remember when that was a thing in like 2010? Well, it's real life. I remembered about that blog yesterday, so I spent some productive time today on a refresher course. I now feel more fully equipped to handle man situations in Salt Lake. Because, seriously. I have never been so repeatedly confused.

Some sample textual messages:
Exhibit A:
(after a bunch of annoying texts where our plans for the next day were cancelled and he could tell I was getting frustrated with his annoyingness.)
boy: (around midnight) just been a rough night lol
me: (the next day) why rough?
boy: (the NEXT day) Cuz I didn't hang out with you lol haha
me: oh boy. what a line. :)

ARE YOU FOR SERIOUS???

same boy, but several days earlier:
me: on a scale of 1 to 10, how awesome would it be if I got a bounce house for my birthday party?
boy: Hmmm 3. I've seen them - they are ok, but they quickly become boring - or maybe 9 since you are going to be in it.

REALLY????
He then proceeded to suggest a mechanical bull. yeah, because those don't quickly become boring.

And by the way, here is the correct answer, as was provided by one favorite boy: "PERFECT 10 FOR 10."

Exhibit B: (my commentary in italics)
boy: would you say that you are on the naughty or nice list? (this one actually happened just before Christmas. And also, who asks questions like this????)
me: What??? nice. obviously.
boy: except you haven't been nice with me because you never want to hang. (I don't even know how to begin to form a response to this one. After several minutes deliberation, I decide to play nice.)
me: haha you have never asked me to hang out!
boy: hahahaa you are a feisty one! (frustration is mounting. "Feisty" is a word I generally use for small, annoying dogs. I am not happy about this. And I'm still trying to figure out what was feisty about that response. There is only one safe thing to say...)
me: :)
boy: well we need to hang (ooooh. maybe this means something will actually happen. I must be encouraging).
me: for sure! give me a day and I'll check my schedule. (because seriously, I have a lot going on all the time, somehow. And looking back, I probably should have just suggested a day or two that worked. But I'm used to BYU boys, and those boys ASK YOU ON DATES.)
boy: We have a busy woman on our hands! (and from this I read, "you are making this too hard for me, I don't want to hang out with you that bad." And then my reply would be, "your loss, dude.")

We ended up hanging out once. And it was one of the more confusing afternoons of my life. I will spare the details.

I don't even know what this is all supposed to mean. It really just means that I have run into a large number of boys that like to play and don't even commit to asking a girl on a date. But why are they so attractive??? It's like, they can get away with all this crap because girls have always allowed it. But seriously, I am not going to play games with you. If you want to get to know me better, invite me to something. Ask me out. I will more than oblige, I will reciprocate, and I will be totally straight up with you. Because seriously, I will not have annoying and cryptic text conversations where I KNOW that you are playing games.

3. The weather was nice today (a balmy 45 degrees), so we went roller blading. I have waited for 5 years to finally live with another person who owns roller blades. Why those things ever went out of style, I will never know. 

So anyway, we went for a ride. Andrea rode a bike and me and Lauren bladed. And we went around our neighborhood and visited our friends. And so begins the 2013 Wheel Gang. Official name and Constitution is forthcoming. It is a "wheel" gang so as not to discriminate against those who don't have bikes or blades. We welcome scooters and boarders and the like. One individual who is currently on the initiation list is planning to bring one of those things that you just wiggle on and it goes back and forth. He assured me that he could keep up. Another gentleman will be bringing his jeep... I might actually discriminate against that.

4. I tried to switch my iTunes to the UK version the other day. It totally works for browsing purposes...but then disappointment reaches an apex when you find out you can't buy anything because your credit card belongs to a US bank. Why don't they let us poor Americans purchase music from across the pond???? I thought that America was the land of freedom. Free to buy whatever music you want. But it is not so. 

Maybe I just need to stop loving UK pop/rap so much. Maybe I need to re-embrace American artists.

But what is happening in American music these days? Only the P!nk and Matt Ruess song. That is the only thing. Even JB is Canadian.

5. This weekend was too fast. Friday I gathered some of my favorite Salt Lake people-- my roommates, Chris, Curtis, and Mark-- to see Oz: The Great and Powerful. It was such a lovely movie. So stylistically cheesy and awesome and I loved it. When trying to convince Curtis to come to the movie I employed the following 5 reasons: 1. James Franco. 2. Mila Kunis. 3. It's both black/white and color. 4. hot air balloon. 5. Aren't you just so curious??? don't you want to know what happens???? His response: "He becomes the wizard and eventually Dorothy shows up to kill both the wicked witches. Sorry to spoil the ending." What a grinch. But he came anyway. After the movie we had a nightcap of orange juice in pretty glasses and told jokes for a while.

Saturday I went shopping for the first time since Christmas!!!! I went a little crazy. I bought a hot air balloon necklace in memory of both "Oz" and my love of hot air balloons. And then we had a birthday party for cool boy Nick. The party consisted of root beer floats, jokes, and lots of cuddles. We were supposed to play sardines at the church but the key wouldn't work after 10pm....and we found that out the hard way.

In closing, let's just say that if certain young men find this blog, I will probably be in a lot of trouble.

In my research

“'Mormonism' has made me all I am; and the grace, the power, and the wisdom of God will make me all that I ever will be, either in time or in eternity.”

-Brigham Young