Summer recap part 1

I did this last year, and then I did it again.

Summer apparently just isn't the time for blogging. And that's mostly okay.

It's been a weird year. Real weird. But lots of good things.

This summary begins in May, just a little bit after I turned 26, which I have previous discussed as a major turning point.

1. I went to Mesa, Arizona to see my rockstar brother graduate from law school at ASU. We hung out by the pool, shopped a little, and hung out all together. The graduation was particularly exciting-- one Steve Young was the commencement speaker and he is cool. (PHOTOS TO COME)

2. I BOUGHT A CAR. This was pretty much an agonizing experience. I knew exactly what I wanted from day 1 (and clearly wouldn't accept anything else), but it still took me several weeks and many trips to the dealership to actually decide. I just started seeing the new Honda Civics driving around and knew I was in love. It was like an, "I want that one," situation. So basically, this is how my last visit to the dealership went down:
5:45- I arrive. I brought my two roommates (Lauren drove me there). We test drove the car one last time.
6:10- The salesman, Phil (my favorite car guy ever), paired my phone with the car and a song immediately started playing, BUT IT WASN'T SONG I HAD PICKED AS THE INAUGURAL SONG. Clearly this meant bad luck. Phil knew I was starting to panic.
6:20- we sat at the desk in the office while Phil ran my credit and I was panicking a lot. My roommates started to get a little pressurey-- and really, they were just trying to help.
6:25- I told the roommates to go home. They were making me mad.
6:27- roommates left me all alone. I was so glad.
6:28- I expressed doubt to Phil about the car I had chosen being the right one. I said, "do you have any more 2014 white civics that are better than mine?" (I was concerned that the car I had been driving had also been test driven by other people. there was a spot of mud inside the driver's side as proof. it had also been ruined by the song.)
6:28:10: Phil said he would check the other white one and come back and tell me which one was better.
6:30- After waiting with white knuckles, Phil confirmed that the other Civic that I had never driven was better because it only had 5 miles on it and had never been driven by anyone besides honda people from factory to dealership. No songs had ever been played in the car.
6:31- I accepted.
6:32- I went in to talk to the finance guy and sign the papers.
6:35- I had lots of questions. The finance man kept calling Phil because I was confused.
6:50- Phil finally came in to calm me down.
7:30- I am still sitting there, staring at the papers.
7:45- I made one initial.
7:50- I asked some more questions and started talking myself into it out loud.
8:00- I asked if I could see the car. Phil said, "of course."
8:02- I notice a miniscule mark in the honda logo on the back of my car. I panic. Phil said they would fix it.
8:10- sitting in the driver's seat, with the door open, and Phil crouching on the asphalt outside the door, talking me through it, I signed another spot on the paperwork.
8:20- keep in mind that I am still panicking a lot.
8:30- my phone is about to die. Phil offers to take it in to charge in his office.
8:45- after sitting alone in the car with no phone (the anxiety! and I wanted to call my mom!), I made another signature.
8:46- I made the last signature in a rush of not thinking.
8:55- Holding on to the papers (not ready to relinquish my signatures), I went in to get my phone.
8:56- I called my mom.
8:58- My mom told me I was being stupid.
9:00- I handed Phil the papers and almost puked.
9:05- He handed my the keys and explained all the booklets and stuff to me.
9:15- We got in the car, and Phil took my phone. He set up the song, making sure it was on pause, then paired my phone to the car.
9:25- I sat there for another while, catching my breath. Phil brought me a water. And some free movie tickets.
9:30- I drove away-- and headed straight to best buy to get a car charger. My phone was still on it's way out for the night, and I desperately needed to use the bluetooth in my NEW CAR!!! (PS I told the lady in Best Buy all about my new car and how Phil was probably the most patient individual in the world, and he was perfectly excited for me.)
(PHOTOS TO COME)
Let me emphasize that after my roommates left, I was in Ogden, by myself, with a nearly dead phone, and no other way to get home besides the dang car I was supposed to by. And it still took me three hours to sign the papers. I would also like to say that I never had a euphoric, I did it!!! moment. I was sick about it for days. and days. Phil texted the next day and I was like, "do you feel better??" I did not. I told him I still wanted to puke. I think he felt bad. But I do really, really, really, love my car. And today, there are rules:

1. no food in the car unless packaged and in the trunk.
2. no pets.
3. no sweaty bodies. I have towels for you in the trunk.
4. no wet clothes. Again, the towels.
5. no other weird smells of any sort.
6. no slamming the doors.
7. water in a spill-proof water bottle is allowed.

My mom says, "just wait until you have kids."

But you know what? My car still smells new.



3. I went to St. George for the Mojo's graduation from Dixie High School. My proud mama has had 4 of her children graduate from that wonderful place. And the little mojo was a little Diamond D! The weekend included a lot of auntie and cousin time-- Judy and Nicole and Koa kept us company for sleepovers and hikes and delicious eats. It was one of those weekends that I didn't want to end.

4. ROOMMATE REUNION NO REGRETS 2014 took place in Charleston, South Carolina at the end of May, beginning of June. And it was a wonderful dream with 8 of my very favorite people and 2 babies.

Charleston is a place of.....I don't know, can I think of a word? It's so beautiful and unique and charming and there was like this charisma oozing out of the buildings downtown. Adventures of Charleston included:

• lotsa late night chats with all girls or just with my Rachelle. The first night was spend reminiscing and giggling lots. And Rachelle announced that she was going to have another little girl! 
• a really stormy trip to the beach that ended about 30 minutes after we got there. We had a mad dash back to the cars and then just sat there huffing and puffing.
• A trip to Shem Creek for dinner, where we literally saw dolphins jumping between the docks. The BBQ was YUM.
• a really, very stormy carriage tour through old town Charleston. We didn't hear much of what the tour guide was saying--we were too busy huddling closer together and screaming when the rain splashed and trying to protect the babies. I'm telling you, the streets were flooding. And most of us exited the carriage completely soaked through. See picture below.
• We ate lunch in our wet clothes at this Mexican place a little bit out of town. It was a cold meal. Cold as in, our clothes were wet and the place was air conditioned.
• meandering through the old slave markets--- there are open buildings downtown where vendors come and sell their wares-- like a craft fair or flea market or farmer's market. It was open but covered, so the rain wasn't too terrible at this point. We were able to walk around the city for a while afterward, and that was nice. The buildings are ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I love old brick buildings all built and stacked together. love them. ALSO. at the market I wanted to buy this bracelet, but I didn't do it, and I still regret it. 
• Did you know my phone stopped working??? Pretty sure it happened the afternoon that we ran from the beach. I took it to the Verizon store on our way home from dinner that night, and they said it was a known problem and I should take it to the Apple store and they would give me a new one. Luckily, there was an apple store downtown, right by our tour and the market! So, I went, and I got. a brand new iphone. It was spectacular and clean. I mean, now it's chipped worse that the one I protected for over a year, but sometimes you can't help it when you are half asleep in the morning and you accidentally throw your phone instead of turn off the alarm. Things happen.
• We planned all our meals out ahead of time and did all the grocery shopping on the first day. We took turns cooking, and that made it so we ate REAL WELL the whole time, BUT we had gazillions of leftovers all the time, too. Haha and we probably spent more on food than was necessary. :) Highlights include the cafe rio style salads Rachelle and I worked over for several hours, the gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches Crystal made that have inspired me to create several different other gourmet sandwiches since coming home, and our traditional Southern meal from Lauren that included jambalaya and other yummies. YUM.
• On Sunday we went to Church. and we took this lovely picture outside:
• And then Rachelle and I (and no one else-- I will never know why no one else wanted to come...) went to FORT SUMTER. Location of the first skirmish in the Civil War. We rode the ferry out there and it was real, real windy. But the place was amazing. It was originally a really small pile of rocks and sand, but they built it up with giant granite slabs to protect Charleston Harbor, and then they built a fort on it! The current ruins of the fort are much smaller than it was originally-- but the slave-made brick was beautiful and haunting and historic. And there were still cannon balls imbedded in the walls. The walls were partially made of this mud/stone stuff that also had seashells. Imagine, a wall of seashell cement! Real cool. We walked around the island, just on the rocks, on the outside of the fort, and I felt kind of like some Southern Belle who didn't know how to manage and stone and the wind at the same time. 
• Monday was for the most heavenly plantation. Boone Hall Plantation. The manor house wasn't too impressive because it wasn't original, but we took a wagon ride around the plantation and it was the most beautiful. There were orchards and lakes and marshes and forests and strawberry patches and grape vines and all sorts of little patches of heaven. Apparently just before the Civil War, the Boones knew that trouble was coming and that they might lose their slaves. So they planted the orchards and hoped to make their money from pecans. So, before our wagon ride we got some pecan ice cream from the little shop! The plantation also had some slave cabins-- and really, it made slavery seem more real to me than anything else before, and left me feeling quite somber. It was a lesson in humanity and how people really lived. Heartbreaking, really. 
• Boone Hall Plantation and the Avenue of Oaks. Picture that scene in The Notebook where the car is driving down the road to Ali's house, and there are these beautiful oaks lining the dirt road for what seems like ages? Well, it. was. that. road. Those oaks. And they were breathtaking. I'm saying I could barely even handle the scenery at this place. Really, I wouldn't mind living in the South. It's so green and wonderful.
• That afternoon we went to the beach on Sullivan's Island. I live for waves. No one is ever brave enough to go out as far as I like to... but that might just make me kind of a dummy. But the ocean doesn't scare me. I love how it makes me feel so small. Love it. And how you really have little control. And water just swings you around. ah waves. 
• I hiked up to MY VERY FIRST LIGHTHOUSE with Kaitlin, Meghan, and baby Sarie. The sun went behind the lighthouse right when we got there, so it looks kind of like the Tower of Sauron in Mordor. But that makes it cooler, right? 
• We had dinner at Poe's Tavern. Apparently Edgar Allen stayed on Sullivan's Island once or something. But it was all delicious and I got a burger with a fried egg on it. 
• That last day together included some last minute giggling and sharing of stories and we all agreed that we must do this again some time soon. 

5. I saw THE SCRIPT IN CONCERT. And One Republic. And I have been waiting to see The Script for years, and they finally came to Utah, and PLAYED WITH MY FAVORITE BAND. It was exceptional. If you have never seen OneRepublic live, you definitely should. I will see them every time they come to town. You all know already how I love Ryan Tedder. And that Danny O'Donaghue from the Script came out into the audience and I freaked out a bit and started shoving people to try to get a picture. bad luck, though, this is what I got:

6. I did a couple hikes and went sailing.

7. I decided one day, sort of out of the blue, to go to the temple and receive my endowment. I talked to my bishop and stake president the same Sunday, called my mom and told her, and then drove to St. George the next Friday and went to the temple. And it was.... overwhelming. But I've never made a more important decision nor done a more important thing. And I am SO GLAD that I did it on my own timetable, when I knew it was what needed to be done, and not because I was getting married or going on a mission-- but precisely because I wanted to.

July and August to come!

TO BE CONTINUED.

On this, the eve of my birthday:

And so begins my traditional birthday-eve post where I moan and groan about getting older.

Usually I highly, highly dislike my birthday. I mean, I like the day. I just don't like that I only get one day to feel special, and then it's all over and I have to be older. I've always sort of felt this way-- but it's become a lot worse since I went to college and all my friends started getting married and having babies and then awkward Audrey was left by herself, all alone and lonely, just getting older by the day.

No, I don't actually think I'm awkward. And I am definitely not lonely. Or all alone. In any sense of the word--except the fact that I am currently sitting in my bedroom, and I am the only person in sight.

But.

This year is different, somehow. Some of you who are close to me know that this past year has literally been THE WORST. Like, there were so many times when I didn't think it could get any worse, and I have just been trying to wake up from the nightmare that has literally kept me from sleeping for like the last 8 months.

But.

That is about to change. Age 25 is over, and 26 is brand new. I don't know. I have a good feeling about 26, and I'm happy to welcome it. Good things are going to happen. I know that. I have so much hope and faith in the future! I really do. I know that I can take everything that happened to me at 25 and turn it into maturity and wisdom and empathy for other people. And I can move on and upward and forward.

And that is a good thing. To be excited for the future. And for an older age. One that is different and better than the one before. This is the year that I start the hobbies that I've always wanted to have. It's the year that I take relationships seriously, and the year that I act instead of being acted upon.

The end.

(fyi... this has somehow sat in my draft box for several months, but it's time that it is finally posted.)

“I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.”

― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

February is a short month anyway.

You know how you work full time and you don't sleep that great and you just always have things to do (or else you purposefully don't have things to do, and you are still EXHAUSTED), and then it comes to Friday and you get home and you're like, "FREEEEDOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ???? And you sit down on your lovesac with your crocheting and catch up on all your sitcoms and the best of Jimmy Fallon from the week, and then you realize you are hungry, so you stick a spaghetti squash in the oven and eat some ice cream and cookie butter while you are waiting (for a whole hour), and then you do the dishes, chat with your roommate, and it's still only 9:00pm, and you think WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE???

I should have had a plan B for the evening. I should have at least tried to make plans. I really only needed like 2 hours to unwind, not 6.

For real.

And now I'm just sitting, thinking about my life and what I want, and usually the only thing I think of is  to write.

And so I write a bunch of nonsense, because I really have nothing and everything to say, and it's one of those times when my brain just feels like it's going in circles and can't really pick one thing to think because there's just too many things. And then I worry that I won't sleep because of all the things. And then I realize I've probably been alone for too long, but being around people doesn't sound desirable either. And it's late anyway. And then I just want my mom.

But then through all of it, the thought pervades: tomorrow I will wake up and have good things to do. Places to be and people to see and I have another chance to be productive and be motivated and accomplish what I want to.

And then I wonder why I beat myself up so much over spending some time by myself and just taking a chill pill. Why do I feel guilty when I stay in on a Friday night and do basically nothing? Why do I feel judged when my roommate comes home and sees me watching TV? Why do I need to explain myself and/or have to talk myself into thinking that it's okay, that I'm okay? Why do I feel like I need to be doing something social, and have the approval of others, and create new stories to tell, to feel worthwhile and productive? Why isn't doing a craft and making a healthy dinner and doing the dishes and all my laundry enough for a Friday night?

Is it because I operate on a tight schedule of activities and events that I have scheduled for myself or other people schedule for me, and when there is a gap in that schedule, I am relieved, but then just get WAY TOO overwhelmed when that gap is too long? Or because I've just been taking too many time-outs lately, and I'm actually getting bored? (but I'm so tired! All the time!) Or is it the singular fact that I planned on going to the gym, but then I didn't, and that makes me a complete failure at life?

It's just that brain, running around in circles again.

Stand up now and face the sun

I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man.

I want that sweater.

Have you ever seen anything so American? It's so 1992 or something. Which makes it SOOOOO 2014.

Apparently there was a lot of heat on Twitter. People don't like the sweaters? Think again, you. And check out this link: http://ftw.usatoday.com/2014/02/american-opening-ceremony-uniforms-ralph-lauren-sochi-olymipcs/

The American athletes looked like party animals compared to everyone else at the opening ceremonies. And even that is American.

And I found the sweater on ebay for 2 grand. They are hand-sewn. So, yeah.

literally

1. Pompeii:

And the walls kept tumbling down
In the city that we love
Great clouds roll over the hills
Bringing darkness from above

But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

2. Flappy Bird. 

I hate it I hate it I hate it.
But I want to play it all the time. 
It's the dumbest game and it's the hardest and I hate it so muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

3. I made these sour cream enchiladas yesterday, and they were delicious. Caution: this is the picture from pinterest,  but mine turned out to look about as good. I just left off the dollop of sour cream on the top and used avocado instead. And I didn't take a picture.


4. I TRIED ANTI-GRAVITY YOGA THIS WEEK AND IT CHANGED ME. We did all sorts of upside-down things, and I wasn't nervous about it at all, it was just the coolest! At the end of the class we just curled up in our silks like a cocoon for Savasana, and I could have slept there all night. The teacher came around a wafted lavender and peppermint in our faces, you know, for relaxation, and the whole time I was thinking, how can I do this every day? How can I save up all my money just to spend it here, at the Imagination Place? That is seriously what it is called. 

5. I was in St. George last weekend and we hiked the temple quarry trail. I do not know what I would do without my mother and my sisters. Shrivel up, probably. :)

6. Went ice skating with my ward on Monday. It was only appropriate to head out to the Olympic Oval the week of the Sochi Olympics! (more to come on that, later)

I brought Amy with me. She is an aspiring Highland YSAer.

Why do people always take such blurry pictures?? I can't instagram that!

7. BYU game with Nathan on Thursday. I don't know how I got talked into that one (it was a late game and I was already falling asleep on the drive to Provo), but it turned out really fun, and it'll probably be my last BYU basketball game this year. 

Can you see The Fury?

8. Every once in a while I get a bug to watch Hannah Montana. Yeah, I don't know. So I found a listing of all the episodes with Jake Ryan in them. Add "Me and Mr. Jonas and Mr. Jonas and Mr. Jonas" and you have all the best episodes!

Bear Lake Beauty

And people said going in the winter was a bad idea.

I am a recovering Cinnamon Toast Crunch addict, and I relapsed.

It's been about 5 years since I bought a box. So on Tuesday when I picked one up at Target, I didn't think anything of it.

But it was so delicious, I don't even feel bad.

Yeah, I know. That's probably what bieber was thinking right before his DUI. 

Speaking of which, beliebers are champions. If you need proof, search #bieberfever on Instagram or Twitter. It is not something you will regret. 

The Return.

This was written last August, right before the 2013 VMAs, but I never finished and published it. So, here you go.

Many of you are probably already aware of the

*NSYNC REUNION PERFORMANCE AT THE VMA'S THIS SUNDAY.

The following is a text conversation between my sisters and I.
Steph: NSYNC is performing at the VMA's on Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: (a link)
Elise: WHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Moriah: You guys I'm trying to learn in seminary!!!!
Elise: Do they have NSYNC in seminary?
Moriah: yessssss
Elise: What? Well apparently I went to the wrong seminary.
Moriah: I learn a lot and hear lots of great music in mine. You might been hurt babe that ain't no lie!!! Everything little thing I do never seems enough for you.
Elise: That's true. But TGIF and I just got paid.
Me: I hope they perform bye bye bye. It would BRING DOWN THE HOUSE.
Moriah: digital digital get down
Moriah: come and take a ride take a space ride with a cowboy baby!!!
Steph: You guys like the dumbest songs.
Me: No Moriah likes the dumbest songs. She literally just quotes the worst ones.
Me: Space cowboy is the number one worst!!!!!!!!!!!
Elise: Yeah guys. I promise that you all like the dumbest songs.
Moriah: The cowboy one makes my heart flourish! It has the best and words and its the best.
Me: Actual best song: It makes me ill. And gone and it's gonna be me. And God must have spent a little more time on you. and bye bye bye and this I promise you. And tell me tell me baby. And that is all.
Elise: And the Bread one!!!! And that Sailing one
Moriah: and the one that sounds Chinese at the beginning.
Elise: Whaaah?
...
Me: Music of the heart or something?
Moriah: Yeah I think so.
Steph: THE SAILING ONE (attached is picture of a butcher knife)
Me: Sailing is like the worst one besides bringin' da noise and space cowboy. Except giddy up is pretty bad. and just got paid.
Steph: Except you forgot Girlfriend with Nelly (lots of heart pictures here)
Moriah: Grrrrrr rawr.
....
Me: What if they do bye bye bye and it morphs into it's gonna be me...and then they end with this I promise you?
Steph: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Elise: And then it makes me ill turns into God must have spend a little more time on you.
Steph: Elise! Now you've got it!
Elise: Then sailing turns into the Bread one.
Steph: NOT SAILING AGAIN!!
Me: NO MORE SAILING!
Elise: IT'S MY FAVORITE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Steph: You are cuckoo for coco puffs. I used to fast forward through that on my walkman!


A brief rundown:

1. remember when No Strings Attached came out and we all thought there could not be a better album cover? And the Bye Bye Bye video was clearly the most creative and groundbreaking music video in history. My first glimpse of the forbidden Mtv was to watch "Making of Bye Bye Bye" While my parents weren't home.

2. I went to the Pop Odyssey tour in Chicago in 2001. Those *NSYNCers introduced a bunch of songs from the Celebrity album, and I remember being so mad because I had to pee SO BAD in the middle of the show and I missed like 5 minutes of it.

3. When that album came out I went to Young Women's and my friend Tammy was telling me all about how her favorite song from the album was "Selfish." I was like, "ARE YOU INSANE????" I mean, really, whose favorite song would ever be "Selfish"??? Not a self-respecting *NSYNC fan, for sure.

4. Stephanie owned "No Strings Attached," not me. And I was not allowed to touch it. But I would steal it from her CD player when she was at work and listen to it on her discman (another, possibly more evil crime). Oh goodness I'm so glad it didn't get scratched.

5. We recorded *NSYNC every time they were at the Disney Summer Jam or on Rosie or on the Today show, or any other time they were on TV. And I'm not talking about DVR or TiVo. I'm saying we recorded them on VHS tapes.

6. My sisters and I have had many conversations about who gets "This I Promise You" as their wedding song. I have lost repeatedly.

7. Elise made an *NSYNC scrapbook as a companion to the detailed O-Town book I compiled. It was more colorful than mine, but not quite as elaborate.

And the resulting VMA performace was thus:



My experience with the VMAs this year was a little less than expected. I went to my friend Ali's house to watch it (because, you know, no TV at my house), and waded through the crap of the whole for this beautiful NSYNC moment--and just as they started to perform, Ali went to turn up the volume and HIT INPUT INSTEAD and I literally missed the whole thing.

The end.

Bastille

You know, just another British band to add to the collection.

Discovered these guys a couple weeks ago (their US single, "Pompeii" is killing it on iTunes), and after I decided that I loved the song, I, very compulsively, bought the whole album. Which is something that I pretty much never do. I never buy full albums. And if I do, it is after several week's deliberation and exploration of every track to make sure it isn't dirty and that I like every bit of it.

But so I randomly bought it. AND I LOVE IT. And I didn't even know they were British until yesterday. I'm telling you, I accidentally like all the British people, and I don't even mean to.

So, if you would like to listen to Bastille, I recommend these songs first: (my comments in parentheses)

1. Pompeii (a pretty good entry song as far as their style goes)
2. Bad Blood (OH MAN, THE HARMONY.)
3. Oblivion (seriously, this guy's falsetto. dying over here.)
4. Laura Palmer

And like, definitely these ones too:
1. Things We Lost in the Fire
2. Overjoyed (the piano)
3. Daniel in the Den (okay wait. this might belong in the top category. this is too hard.)

What am I saying? Just listen to the whole thing.

Everything has changed

While the title of this post is also the title of a Taylor Swift/Ed Sheeran collaboration that is quite easy on the ears but not immediately lovable, it also reflects the sentiment that, well, everything has changed.


One of the changes that I wish to speak of is that I finally bought myself a desk. I have lived in my little basement-hole bedroom for a year and a half, and I have disliked the space the whole time. I have consistently said, "I need but a small work space. A desk, if you will." And last Saturday I finally broke down and realized that while I have no problem buying a pair of pants for $50, I can't even get myself over to IKEA to buy the thing that I really, truly, need and want. So I went. And I bought. And I built.

And there you have it. I am typing this on a desk. And I feel as though my life has taken an upswing. Like, I'm on this roller coaster, and instead of careening downward in terror and confusion, I'm kind of floating up and I actually feel like I can grab onto something to keep myself going up.

The overarching theme of my intense list of categorized new year's resolutions is to organize myself. It's based on Doctrine and Covenants 88:119. And with this little desk (that is honestly much smaller than I would have liked...but it was hard to tell from the picture on the box...), I feel as though I have already accomplished a lot.

And so I write a list of randoms, as always:

1. I haven't been sleeping well. and when I'm stressed and not sleeping well I break out, which leads to more stress and less sleeping, and it's really all so terrible, because your face hurts and you are so, so sleepy, and then you still have to deal with the stress. And so I remembered that one summer it felt really amazing to sleep upside down in my bed. And so I tried it again. And sleeping upside down is the best. Like, I just put my pillow where my feet usually go. And it is fresh and heavenly, and now I sleep.

2. I finally joined spotify. It's free on phones now, so, BINGO.

3. I created a budget tonight. This was inspired by my shopping spree of last weekend (the one that included the desk), and my new ability to type/write/read/record at a desk of my very own. Apparently if I want to save the money that I want to save, I need to stop shopping. Honestly, I have avoided making a budget up until this point (to my detriment), because I'm afraid of realizing that I should actually be spending much less than I do. But I need to get serious about it. I really do. If in some distant future I want to go away to school or buy a car or buy a new computer for crying out loud (this here macbook will be celebrating her 7th birthday soon), I need to spend less and save more. And be an adult.

4. I have started to make a new recipe once a week. Another resolution. And it has turned out to really be blast! I actually really like to make things! And it is such a perk when you get to eat it after.

5. Due to the stresses and various things going on in my life, I have become quite the introvert. I just spent the weekend at a cabin at Bear Lake with really very lovely people who I would love to be best friends with, and I was actually quite overwhelmed with the whole thing and found myself wishing I could retreat to one of the rooms by myself just to take a break. This is very un-audrey-ish. Lately I've just been wanting to stay home, and like I mentioned earlier, just find a way to grab on an pull myself up. It's like I just haven't been able to get a grip lately. I mentioned something about how I only want to stay at home all the time to a friend, and he was like, "sounds like you are growing up." and I just thought, is that what it means to be an adult? To feel like you can't get a grip? To want to be alone because you feel like you are trying and trying to get organized and piece things together, but you really just can't? If all that is true, then I think I'll just keep being a Toys R Us kid.

6. Ed Sheeran is up for best new artist. And so is Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. And so is this one dude that I just discovered this evening named James Blake, and he is REALLY awesome. He sings and has this incredible voice, but he's also a DJ. And he's British. I just don't even know what the grammy academy people are supposed to do! I mean, Ed Sheeran, duh. But really? Macklemore should win. This struggle is on par with the Britney-Christina battle of 2000. Needless to say, I am STOKED for the grammys this year.


7. My house is getting television! That means we can watch award shows, the super bowl, American Idol, and the Olympics. All the important things. I haven't had real television in a house of mine since, like, 2008. So, this is big deal.

8. Another one of my resolutions this year is to create more and consume less. The specific goal for the month of January is to write a poem. I will not be sharing that. The goal for February is to crochet something. My Grandma Colleen is going to teach me. (as a side note, she will also be teaching me to make homemade noodles...my fave).

Stay tuned.