Gonzo

Andrew sprained his ankle playing flag football a couple days ago. You can add this injury to the long list of things that, I think, will one day leave my brother handicapped. And all because of flag football. Why do they even use the flags if they are going to break their bodies anyway?

Text conversation from this evening:
Me: How is your foot dear brother?
Andrew: Mangled!! But getting better. :) it looks like gonzo's nose.
Me: That's what the pictures look like. Did you go to the doctor?
Andrew: Ya. He said to take 2 high fiber low fat diet cookies. How was your Saturday? Are you watching the Colts tomorrow?
Me: Did the doctor say your foot would lose weight if you did as prescribed? and yes I want to watch the Colts!!
Andrew: Ya. He said also to make my foot throw up.
Andrew: It's called Bullemic foot *(spelling not changed, I promise)

hahahahahhahaahhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa


I consulted the picture that Mallory sent earlier in the day:

And then I consulted Gonzo's nose:

Precisely.

Gatsby

"He smiled understandingly--much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced -- or seemed to face -- the whole eternal world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favour. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey."

I want to have that affect on people. Like Jay Gatsby.

And I'm reading Gatsby again. The trailer for the new movie was released last summer, and I've watched it about fifteen times. And then I saw it on the big screen before Les Mis.

I'm so excited.

I'm going to post the trailer, for your viewing pleasure, even though I kind of think that I posted it before.

:)

Yeah, I'm only on episode 63 of "Say Yes to the Dress." NBD.

Thoughts of January Second.

1. Why can't socks stay on my feet? New socks, old socks. With new shoes or old shoes. The only ones that stay are ankle socks, and you CANNOT wear ankle socks with dress pants... which is what I have to wear to work. I am seriously constantly twisting my socks back around and pulling them back up. I'm going to blame the shinscles.

2. I bought Phillip Phillips's The World From the Side of the Moon yesterday...I finally gave in after wishing it was on my iPod for like 2 weeks. And it's so calm. It's like....raw pop. (I know, I make up all of these terms. I am aware.) It almost has this Johnny Cash feel, like a little bluegrassy or something. But in a good way. And he has such a sexy voice. Sample below:


3. It is so unbelievably cold in this place we call Salt Lake City. And my basement might be the coldest basement in the world. I feel like a ten degree difference when I walk up the stairs in the morning. Honestly, I get out of bed and just shiver the entire time I get ready and then I go upstairs to eat and I'm like, how is it so warm up here???????? It feels all  lovely and then I just get angry and jealous of those who sleep in the toasty land of the upstairs instead of the tundra of the basement.

4. Conversation with Nathan today:
Me: have you seen Les Mis?
Nathan: no.
Me: why not?
Nathan: I don't want to.
Me: Why?
Nathan: It's a musical.
Me: Do you hate music?
Nathan: No.
Me: Do you have a soul?
Nathan: .....

He obviously doesn't. That is clear. And he even served his mission in Paris! As Mike Poulson would say, "WHAT THE?"
As a sidenote, who else has a crush on Marius?

Empty Chairs and Empty Tables

That has always been my favorite part.

And the movie did not disappoint.

I waited several days to see Les Miserables for a couple reasons:

1. I was worried about Anne Hathaway
2. I wanted a little bit of the hype to die before I walked in to have my experience. It wasn't about excitement for me--but for experience.

Because it was an experience. The movie ended and my roommates immediately started to grab and their stuff and stand up. And this is where I start to have a panic attack---amidst my efforts to remember how to move and what my own name is---I didn't go over the movie-watching-experience rules with Andrea and Lauren. It so wasn't their fault.

I do not move after seeing a movie such as the one we just saw. And I don't want anyone to tell me to move. I do not speak. And I don't want to be asked any questions. Particularly the one that goes, "so what'd you think??" Like it was some trivial something that will be forgotten in 5 minutes. Like it was something that I could produce a fully-formed, logical and structured opinion on within seconds. My blog readers know these rules... but the roommates did not. When they noticed I had not moved at all when they had stood, they say back down to wait.

And I simmered. Because that is what you do. You have to soak it in---mind blank. You listen to the music and watch the credits and you just process for a while. Until you are ready to stand.

And then you stand, and you leave, and you do not say a word.

Les Miserables is a very personal story. Many, many people have a very private connection to the show, the story, the book, the music, the whole concept. It is about humanity and God and people and love and sacrifice and it is entirely relatable and tragic and beautiful. It's like Marius says so correctly in his weary solo: "there's a grief that can't be spoken..." It's hard to describe how people feel about this show. Despite knowing the musical word for word (and almost mouthing it all, breathlessly, throughout the movie), I can't say that I love it or appreciate it more than the average person. Even though I had tears in my eyes from the second the music started out of pure nostalgia---I can't say it's a part of me more than anyone else can.

And that is amazing. We all share it. It's a reverent thing, almost. And I love that we can connect in such a story of hope and Christianity.

As a sophomore in high school and a member of the large ensemble in our production of Les Mis, I used to sit in the audience during rehearsal and just stare. I couldn't believe that I was a part of something so amazing. I wanted to share is with everyone I knew. I used to fall asleep to the finale track. And when we performed our show, we sang the last strains of "Do You Hear the People Sing," and we would all be crying too, along with the audience, and then the lights would go out, and it would be over, and we would scramble to the hallways to greet our friends and family, hoping that the story we had just told would have the same effect on them that it had had on us. It was partially because of the applause and the joys or performing, but overwhelmingly is was because of the music and story. And it is something I will never forget.

And so, besides the emotion and feeling and story and the triumph of it all, this is what I take away from the movie:
1. It is much more religious than I had ever realized. Somehow.
2. Javert may be the one who is to be the most pitied.
3. Anne Hathaway really, really did an amazing job. I have no complaints about her performance. I might have to start liking her now.
4. Marius is such a man.
5. Russell Crowe's face is too nice for Javert. But maybe they did that on purpose.
6. What would have been Act 1 had this been on the stage was much more emotional for me than Act 2, which is an interesting twist. I'm usually in the most pain around the barricade.

I will see it again. But probably not for a while. I don't know if it is a movie I will own. It seems like watching it on my own TV will cheapen it somehow.

And so Andrea and Lauren, that is what I thought.

Resolution

Write on my blog once a week.

It's New Year's Day and the only thing I want to do is sit in my bed with my new fluffy fluffy bedding that feels like a cloud in heaven, writing my resolutions and listening to Elton John's "Tiny Dancer." I even got $35 in iTunes gift cards for Christmas and I haven't used any of it yet because I am so obsessed with this one song. I also seriously day dream about my bed. Because it's so fluffy. I was at work yesterday and the only thing I wanted was to get back in bed. I kept asking people what they got for Christmas so that I could talk about my new bedding. I just kept wanting to bring it up. It's like I'm dating this new boy....but it's just a fluffy comforter and duvet and delicious purple sheets and exquisite pillows that aren't too flat but aren't too puffy.

Is that bad? That's it's 3:05pm on the first day of the year and I'm still in bed? It might be. I might be getting lazy.

I actually have decided that 2012, in a lot of ways, was a year of regression. Not in like, crucial ways. But in small ways where I can see myself getting looser about some things. Like spending money. I've become excellent at that. I'm a little bit addicted to wearing new clothes. As I was unpacking from my Christmas adventure in St. George I noticed how many clothes I really have---and how many of them were purchased in 2012. But....I love them. And I've gotten lazier about planning things. And going to the gym. And feeding myself. And keeping my room clean.

I just get so busy. I like to keep my social calendar full. And I like to always have something to do and people to see. That is also kind of an addiction of mine. Like, I didn't have a fulfilling day if I didn't build more relationships with more people. I'm such an extravert it's not even funny. Almost to the point of it being a weakness. Like, I can't handle being by myself for more that like a couple hours.

 But sometimes I get too busy. I want to have time to cook and work out and study interesting things and keep up with religious commitments.

Like, wouldn't it be awesome if I could go to work, go to the gym, get dinner on the stove, go shower, eat a delicious and healthy dinner, enjoy some fancy literature (while eating, mind you), and then begin the evening's social festivities? That would mean that gym and getting ready and dinner would have to happen before like 7pm, and there is literally not enough time for that. And then social events would have to end at like 9:30 so that I could (if I'm REALLY trying to be social and healthy) get to bed by like 10:30. I would need at least an hour for ideal scripture study and getting ready for bed procedures. But then this leaves no wiggle room. No time for roommate bonding, and no extra time for errands and/or other things that need to be done. And it totally cuts out the necessary travel time to Provo and back--- if that's the day's chosen social activity.

So this is my resolution. Focus on making time for all the things I want to do. Live a more balanced life with exercise, healthy eating, sleep, a budget, fancy literature, lotsa friends, spiritual enlightenment :), and family.

People always say you can't do it all. But I've always said that I CAN. I just have to focus, and I just have to try. And as Thomas Jefferson said, "the harder you work, the more luck you seem to have." And I'm interpreting "luck" as happiness and success--- the two things that I want most in this world. And gosh darn it, I get what I want.

HOWWwwwwww?

How do I forget about blogging so much these days? It used to be like my favorite thing in the universe.

And so begins another blog post in which I don't really have anything to say:

1. ONE DIRECTION. The new album is bomb and I haven't stopped listening to it for 3 weeks. You read that right. Peep this video for a small taste. And if you find yourself suffering from a small crush on one of these darling boys, don't worry, they are all over age. haha.


2. I went ice skating with my roommates last week, and I have NEVER loved ice skating so much. I want to go back like once a week. Because it was such a blast. The skates didn't hurt my ankles, and I didn't even fall down ONE TIME! It was nothing short of a miracle. Look out Gallivan Center--- I'm coming back.

3. My heart is still a little bit stuck in Provo... but I'm slowly transitioning to Salt Lake. I go to Provo a heck of a lot less. That saves me lotsa money on gas. And I'm making more friends in Salt Lake....but still....most of my favorite people are in the land of BYU. And I'm really starting to see Salt Lake City as a place where I could be for a long time. I really do love the city. There is SO MUCH to do around here. So many cool things to be involved in. I'm really starting to see the sort of opportunities that living in a big city can offer. And I've actually made a list of things that I want to have as hobbies someday. Since moving to Salt Lake I've been evaluating my life and my whole person and starting to see exactly who and what I want to be. I have so much to learn and so much to discover! So many people to meet and so many places to see. And so much to grow from in this one place. Utah is such an amazing place. It really is. What else do I actually need? Since my first semester in DC I've had all these ambitions about working at all sorts of cool places and living in famous cities and being this awesome person that people talk about, like, "I know this girl who is so awesome and beautiful and smart and she lives in Boston and works at the Kennedy Presidential Library," because how cool would that be???? But you know what is cooler? Being close to family and the people who love you. And working at a place and doing work that is so important. I had a sort of epiphany about my job last Sunday-- I was kind of struck by how important it is to keep a record of the church. If you think about it, the Book of Mormon was compiled by Mormon, right? And he got all this information from all the historical and spiritual records that had been kept by his people. And who knows how many thousands of volumes and chunks of gold plates he went through to get all the information he needed for this one book. The Nephites kept a record so that one day we would have their history and see the hand of God in their lives. And that is what I do at my job. I make sure that the records are kept and preserved. I keep things organized. And isn't that so amazing. I am forever grateful for a job that I love AND have a testimony of.

4. I had a conversation with a boy at work today which was prompted by him asking the following question: "What is it like at BYU?" This boy went to the U. I don't think he realized what he was getting himself into by bringing up like my #3 favorite topic in the world (numbers 1 and 2 being HP and MJ, respectively). I am a person who likes to talk. And I like to talk about the things that I like, especially when whoever I am talking to doesn't know much about what I'm about to say and/or they are acting very interested. I told him all about what a dreamland BYU is and how the wards work and what it's like to walk around campus and see everyone you know. And all about the HBLL and what kinds of people study on which floors. And I told him about finals week and how I could eat like 3 meals a day on campus and I would just leave my stuff sitting out in the library to go grab food really fast (b/c why would you want to pack everything up when there are people at the table who are perfectly willing to "watch" your stuff??) I told him about how heavenly the summers are and how everyone is involved in Church stuff and how everyone is best friends in the summer. I was about to launch into the story of Epic Summer 2010, but I ran out of time (and that story would have included Slickgangin and the Wink at the Stranger Initiative! the boy missed out). But I guess that the summary of all of this is that I am so grateful that I was able to have the college experience that I did. I met SO MANY amazing people who have changed my life--and will continue to impact me for the rest of my existence. That's what good friends do for you. They change your life--make you see things in new ways and teach you things. I am a much better person for having gone to BYU and for having been involved in BYU wards and with BYU students.

5. And what else is going on in my life? Thanksgiving was rad. 2 days off work with holiday pay!

6. I wish I could go to Disneyland....like tomorrow.

7. I miss all my friends that live far away.

8. My siblings are hilarious.

9. I just read Lois Lowry's "Gathering Blue." I liked it. But it wasn't life-changing like "The Giver" is. Oh well. But it made me want to read "Messenger" despite having been warned against that one. Thoughts?

10. Why can't I keep my room clean? It's a disaster so much of the time. I just don't like to put my clothes away.

11. Also I hate doing the dishes. I would like a dishwasher for Christmas, thank you very much.

12. And a washer and dryer would be very nice.

13. What else? We have a next door neighbor who we thought was really nice but recently he started getting super snooty about other people parking in front of his house. We have 4 cars that are all leaving at different times of night and morning, so, naturally, one of our cars is usually parked in one of the spots in front of his house. Just like the corner of his house, really. Our car is mostly just in front of his side yard. For realz though. So anyway, the last couple of days he started parking his own car in that side-house-extra-spot instead of his own driveway (which is now empty, btw), just so we can't park there. For real, dude??? You don't own the street.

Anyway, that is all.