Snapshots of the last week of 2011

1. I had dinner with my buddy Cameron. We discussed, in great length, all the things we want to do with our lives. There were just so many great things to do that  Cam exclaimed, "It's so awesome I just hate it!" Yes, that is how we should feel about life. Thumbs up.

2. This afternoon I was grumpy. Ya'll know I hate New Years' Eve. All I wanted was to shower and do my fingernails and toenails. ALL I wanted. So I showered and then sat down to pamper. And you know what? I was out of nail polish remover. The worst. So I had to get dressed. And get a little ready. And I went to the store. And bought some nail polish remover. And then came home and polished and glittered until I was happy. The end.

3. The annual Spainhower family Christmas party was last night. I have been informed, don't you worry, that Christmas is over, and that I should call it a "holiday" party, but whatever. The party was as awkward, familiar, and silly as ever, but a lot of people were missing. Which was sad (namely Shawn and Anna, Stephanie, Uncle Kerry, and Andrew and Mallory). But a long-lost uncle showed up. With his new girlfriend (who looked severely young. I asked my aunt how old she was and she said, "um, about 10. hahahaha). And a baby. It took quite some undercover interrogation to discover whether or not the baby, let's call him Eduardo, was long-lost uncle's or not. He isn't. Anyway, little Eduardo liked to run into the center of the gift exchange circle and do little dances. This earned him this comment, from Elise: "Eduardo is my favorite cousin." Elise, apparently, isn't super fond of her other cousins, who have been around for years.

4. My hatred for any type of jelly or jam was renewed on Thursday at lunch. I got a grilled turkey, swiss, and cranberry sandwich at the cafeteria. Little did I know that there was also some sort of orange jelly on the sandwich. I gagged and almost puked. It was nasty. I tried to eat it, I swear. But I couldn't. And I tried to scrape off the jelly. Couldn't do that either.

5. Tuesday evening was spent in a haze of tv shows. That I have sworn never to watch again. Because I get too sucked in. And it doesn't feel healthy. Favorite quote from said tv show: "It's like I'm in a boy band, and I'm the fat one." -brother "It's pronounce Fatone." -sister

6. Whenever I need feminine inspiration I watch Legally Blonde. It happens, oh, maybe twice a year. Today is one of those days. And you know what? I want to go to law school just so I can say, "Am I on glue or did we get into the same law school?" when someone thinks I'm being dumb or ridiculous. I want to be an Elle Woods champion. And I want to wake up to that "Perfect Day" song EVERY morning.

7. I'm sick of 90% of my music. Well, probably more like 99%. My week was spent trying to enjoy what I have. My purchased list has gone cold. There hasn't been anything new and great to download recently. I settled in on The Killers by Wednesday, and semi-enjoyed "Smile Like You Mean It" and "Jenny Was A Friend of Mine" for three days.

8. I came back to Provo from St. George on Tuesday. I had to drive all the way to Fashion Place Mall to drop off my grandma. I got my first glimpse (but did not go inside) of the first H&M in Utah. I still curse at the fact that I haven't been to that store yet. Sheesh. Anyway, Stephanie had to get some make-up at the beautiful semi-new Nordstrom, so I HAD to go inside... in my traveling clothes. With no makeup. And kind of dirty hair. It was an atrocity. That store is very shiny. And full of shiny people in beautiful attire, with pretty hand bags and perfect hair. And then there was Audrey. Ick. Never again.

9. Sunday was Christmas. And it was lovely. Andrew and Mallory were in town and they hung out with us most of the day. I got a straightener and HELLO a sewing machine. And on Monday I sewed an apron. IT SCREAMS AUDREY when you see it. It's blue and white striped seersucker fabric with a big bright yellow pocket. Can you get more Audrey than that? I don't think so. Let me tell you, though, my mother is a miracle. She never uses patterns. Not like aprons are hard to sew anyway, but we just cut out what we wanted and sewed it together, and the apron is adorable.

Happy 2011.

FINALLY!

I am finally in Washington, D.C!!! So exciting. I love it here. I have taken zero pictures as of right now, and I'm kind of too busy to blog, but I just want to say, it is very different from Southern Utah. Here is a list of the obvious:

1. Green.
2. Trees.
3. Humidity.
4. very, very, very narrow roads.

Okay, that's all I have time for, folks. Until next time (maybe later tonight), good afternoon, good evening, and good night.

Odd Things About Aud.

1. I can identify any sort of random scrapbook supply by company and time of production/distribution. Barely a day goes by that I don't come across some sort of display at school or in a store that I don't say, "hey, they got that stuff at Pebbles- that's Pebbles' ribbon. And the paper is My Mind's Eye- the first Bohemia line that came out like 2 and a half years ago. They need a new display. This one's out of scrapbooking style. And does anyone really use that ugly cricut font anymore? Puh-lease."
2. I randomly fall into phases where I become kind of obsessed with something. Examples include the Beach Boys, Elvis, The Beatles, Michael Jackson, Harry Potter, the Holocaust or any other random time in history, Sharon Creech books, Linda Crew Books, iTunes, gymnastics (aka the Magificent 7 from the 1996 games in Atlanta), Veggie Tales, boys bands like Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, an O-town (Ashley Angel, anyone? I promise it's a boy, and he was SO hot), high school football (yeah, I was only in 6th grade when this started, and I went to all the games with my Dad. It was the best thing ever) Harry Potter again, etc.
3. I like to name things like pencils or back massagers or just about anything else you can think of. In 8th grade my lucky pencil was red, made by pentech (because they make the best erasers), and was named Pretzel A+ 2. The best back massager in the world is named Paul Handy. Paul seemed suiting and, well, what is more handy than a back massager that feels good no matter who does it? Paul Handy has been around since 7th grade. We're good friends.
4. I have all sorts of complexes about not wanting to do my best. Because, well, what if your best isn't good enough?
5. I'm kind of a Harry Potter freak. I still check Mugglenet for Harry Potter news almost daily.
6. I really really really like colors. I collect crayons, markers, colored pencils, chalks, etc. because I like the colors. Sometimes I reward myself with a new box of crayons.
7. I put lotion on my hands, feet, and face several times a day. Like probably 8 times.
8. I'm kind of obsessed with celebrities. That's not my fault, though. I blame Stephanie.
9. I like to read autobiographies.
10. I can walk really fast. Not kidding.
11. I have super amazing muscles on my shins. I know, it's weird.
12. I love ducks and I love yellow.
13. I like to make signs.
14. I believe that anyone can be pretty if they are not dirty. Dirty people are not attractive.
15. I shave my arms.
16. Rachelle claims that I am ridiculously photogenic. I say this with a disclaimer because I don't necessarily think it's true. I just like it when people say that. :)
17. I get really really excited about dumb things.
18. I am currently personally angry at Chris Brown. We are totally in a fight.
19. I collect pennies. I have one from every year since 1960. I know, it's not that cool, but when I searched through all the pennies in the Disneyland savings jar when I was 9, I was super impressed with myself.
20. I am kind of obsessed with making lists. This whole thing started when I was 12, and I decorated a notebook titled, "Audrey's Notebook of Lists." I was coming up with too many lists, and it majorly stressed me out not to have them compiled in one place together! Hence the birth of the Notebook of Lists that I still use today.
21. I get super involved in my school work. If you don't buy this one, check out my blog posts from last fall...
22. I am still a Toys R Us kid- I don't want to grow up.
23. I have an enormous collection of keychains. I get one (or several) from wherever I go on vacation. My favorite one is the one I got in Springfield, Illinois: the Land of Lincoln. It says "Lucky Penny" on it and has a penny inside that was made in 1988- my birth year. So, it really is my lucky penny! Plus, a penny has Abraham Lincoln on it, and I got the darn thing in his hometown. And, you all know how I feel about pennies! So, this keychain has FOUR amazing pluses!
24.
25. I have lived in 14 different houses/apartments. If there is one thing that I truly hate it is moving. I HATE MOVING.
26. I classify books as if they are foods. This is partly because the analogy comes out so beautifully and partly because books are necessary for life, just like food is. A book needs to have the right nutrients, just like food does. Example: Silly and dumb books like Twilight are the equivalent of candy- delicious but only briefly satisfying. Good literature is like Pride and Prejudice or A Farewell to Arms (now that's quality), and they equal say, an amazing full course meal. They fill you up and leave you thinking about them for weeks. I also like to compare people to the books they read. If you see someone reading a gas station heaving-bosom romance novel, what does that tell you about them? What about dragon books? (You know, the kind with dragons and fire and damsels in distress on the cover) I'm telling you, the books you read speak VOLUMES about you- no pun intended.
27. I always make chocolate chip cookies without a recipe.
28. Whenever I write a paper for school, I never have a problem with making it long enough. I do struggle, however, with limiting what I write. My papers ALWAYS end up too long.
29. I kind of like to study. I LOVE the BYU library.
30. I know, hands down, without a doubt, that I have the funniest, best family in the world. Anyone who hangs out with all of us together would recognize this statement as fact. Andrew and Stephanie are the funniest people I have ever met. At one point they ackowledged that Elise and Moriah were funny. I'm still the laughing stock because apparently I don't have the funny skills. Andrew suggested that joining the circus would help. He even offered to start a freak show for me when I was 11. Naturally, I declined. I was mad at him for an entire hour after that one.
31. I am incapable of washing my face at night without getting water ALL OVER the counter, the floor, and my shirt. I don't know what the problem is. Elise gets REALLY MAD at me about this.
32. I have recently diagnosed myself with an illness called: I CANNOT, no matter how hard I try, put my clothes away after I change. I am capable of doing it about once a week. I hate it when my clothes are messy and all over my desk chair and floor, but I can't put them away! It's ridiculous. It has been like this for years. My parents told me it was okay because I needed to have some area in my life that I was lazy/bad at. I think that there are a lot of things that I am lazy/bad at, but whatever. It got me out of cleaning my room all during high school. :)

I think I'm going to stop now, before everyone who ever reads this thinks I am the weirdest person they have ever come across. But seriously, a person's eccentricities are what make them interesting (as long as they aren't creepy eccentricities), so I am proud to be an Odd Aud!

P.S. Rachelle came up with a lot of these. I kind of just added commentary.

Rules For Life

I found this list in all the random files I have on my computer, and I was amazed at my hilarity. I just had to post it!!! This list was made for me, Rachelle, and Ann. Read the whole list. I promise you won't regret it. :)

1. Never wake up in the hour of 6. Any time before 6:59 AM is simply ridiculous and disgustingly early.
2. Always read your scriptures before bed.
3. Always close the blinds when it gets dark to prevent the Mr. Peepings of the world from looking at you. (Yes, Tom, we know you’re out there.)
4. Always lock the door.
5. Never eat anything bigger than your head. This can cause discomfort in the midsection.
6. Ice cream is always a good thing.
7. Cookies are good things too.
8. Being a Vegetarian is not a bad thing. Meat is not a good thing.
9. Never wear shoes that give you blisters. Especially if they are platform tennis shoes.
10. Maximum walking speed should always be reached. (Audrey secretly wants to punch slow-walking people in the back of the head because they are in the way when she is late to class).
11. Try not to stay up all hours of the night reading books that only amount to candy and not a full-course meal.
12. Never ever ever read “Breaking Dawn” again. Don’t even think about it.
13. Never listen to Anti-Harry Potter literature.
14. Always go to church.
15. Always sleep in as late as possible, especially when going to church.
16. Never go a day without showering.
17. Always avoid the creepy boys at BYU. It’s okay to say NO!
18. To protect the roommates, always remember to tell them about the creepy boys at BYU.
19. Only be late for class if you are getting free food.
20. Always make a cake when someone does something cool.
21. Always take advantage of the sun. It won’t always be there to keep you company.
22. Never let your phone die. It could be catastrophic.
23. Never walk home alone in the dark.
24. Always tell your roommates where you’re going on your run.
25. All the fun things in life actually do cost money.
26. Always get off your computer when you are wasting your life on YouTube or Facebook.
27. Friends are real friends even if they are not your friends on Facebook.
28. Yellow highlighters are better than any other color of highlighter.
29. It is better to lose a lover than to love a loser.
30. Always remember to call your mom.
31. Your family cannot live without you.
32. Get your homework done, and get good grades.
33. You really don’t have to be on time for lots of things.
34. Black is a really good color to wear.
35. Heels make you look better no matter what.
36. Sometimes black nail polish is really cool.
37. BYU football is WAY better than ever imagined. Never miss a home game.
38. It doesn’t take any more effort to put on a cute outfit than it does to put on an ugly one.
39. You can wear white after labor day, especially if it’s still sunny.
40. Only check your email a reasonable number of times per day. You can define reasonable.
41. Always record everything in your planner. Without it, you would be lost.
42. Lists are Audrey’s favorite invention.
43. Never forget about the life plan: Rachelle, you will marry Channing Tatum. And yes, Audrey, you will get your Senator’s Son with the last name of Parker who is a distant relative of the Kennedys).
44. Always take a nap on Sunday afternoon.
45. Always cook healthy meals.
46. Go to St. George a couple times every semester.
47. Never forget that it is cold in Provo.
48. Never tell your mom about Mr. Tom Peeping.
49. There is a fine line between genius and insanity.
50. You are always smarter than you think you are.
51. Always go to bed when you’re tired, and sometimes go to bed before you are tired.
52. Even if you can’t remember that far back, going to the gym is ALWAYS a good thing, is ALWAYS worth it, and is actually quite fun.

I Love BYU

I love BYU. I love going to school here. Here are a list of my favorite things about BYU:

(This list is actually limited to my favorite things about BYU in the fall- before the snow comes)

1) My roommates. I mean, my SOUL roommates. (We decided that we were more than just regular roommates. Because, you know, some roommates don't actually like each other. And we do. We like each other a whole lot. In fact, we tend to only hang out with each other, because we have so much fun together. MAKARA!!!)
2) Fridays on campus. What is greater than going to campus, knowing that you don't have to go the next day? You get to enjoy the experience. You know the weekend it approaching, so unless you have a test, the atmosphere is a lot less tense. You can take a nap in the Samplar room, or out on the grass between classes after you've decided not to care about homework. You can go to lunch with friends (and get a warm mini-loaf of bread with honey butter at the Sugar and Spice. Yum!!!), and sit out on the grass, with the sun shining on your face, burning a little, but feeling perfect. You can do sudoku in class because suddenly, you don't care about taking notes anymore. You can sit in the library, and actually enjoy the boy sitting across the table from you while studying. Yes, Fridays are great on campus. I love them.
3) Football games. Ok, so I like football games everywhere I go, but when you go to BYU, everywhere you go, everyONE is a fan. The games are very crowded, and every student celebrates like he/she personally recovered fumble, scored the touchdown, made the tackle, received the pass, or intercepted the ball. Seriously, next time you go, watch everyone's faces. It's histerical. I just love football anyway, though. It's a great game.
4) Eye Candy.
5) Those one kids in class that say every answer and drive the teacher crazy. I love them.
6) The book store- everything you could possibly dream of! Lots of books, and lots of school supplies. Can it get any better? Oh, and lots of treats- like candy and fudge.
7) The bowling alley in the Wilk. Good times.
8) The Rugby boys who give you fliers for their games on Friday, and show up to school on Monday with broken arms and such. Those guys are awesome.
9) Professors who are really smart. You can just tell- there is a difference between the smart ones, and the really smart ones. I prefer really smart.
10) History classes.
11) The Terrace in the Wilk. Many good things: strangers sitting across the table from you, newspaper stands nearby, CNN playing NONSTOP, the weirdos who sometimes gives speeches or something (they are actually really annoying).
12) Awkward people who you kind of know, but not really. I love those moments.
13) Walking across the street while fifty million cars are waiting for you. Oh wait, I hate that part.
14) The Quill and the Sword club. Ha! Also, I love those couple you see, and you are grateful that they found each other.
15) Free Food (hotdogs, pizza, hot cocoa in the winter, cookies from those engineering people, ice cream from the women's office, etc.)
16) Trying to improve my time walking to campus. I average 10 minutes. My roommates say that I should enter speed-walking competitions. Apparentely I'm really fast. So, that's a secret talent- I'm a good walker. But seriously, I walked home from the campus to our apartment at Liberty Square in 6 minutes once. That's like 4 blocks, (from the library) in 6 minutes. Can you say incredible??? It was after a test that made me really mad, so I stuck some JT on my ipod and walked so quickly that my calves and shins hurt (plus, that hill was brutal to go down fast without running).
17) Going to church on campus. It's a strange idea, really, to go to school and church at the same place. But you get used to it, and it's great. Campus really kind of becomes your world when you go to BYU.
18) Taking naps after church on the lawn. BEST TIME OF MY LIFE. We have done it two weeks in a row now, and seriously, we layed out there for like 3 hours both times. I can't say that we don't have our share of awkward moments, but....
18) THE HONOR CODE!! Life is so much easier with the honor code.
19) I love that I haven't been to testing center yet this year. And I love that I compare it to Azkaban.
20) This is the last one, so I have to say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE the library. I may hate the periodical section (bad memories from last year), but everywhere else is my favorite thing. I particularly enjoy studying on the 3rd floor, right by the bathroom, no shhh zone, drinking fountain, the Sampler, and the outside world. So many people like the study on the first floor, or the 5th, and I swear, those places are just too far away from civilization. I can't handle the deep, dark recesses of that place. If you get in too deep and your there for too long, it's too hard to get out! But altogether, that library is amazing.

Ok, so I have a habit of not posting anything, and then leaving an enormously long post that no one wants to read. Oh well, I enjoyed writing all of this stuff, and now I'll remember it. I have an affinity with making lists, though, so maybe that's my problem.