?

I'm going through that kind of phase where I think about blogging just about everyday, but then when I sit down and have time to blog... I forget everything that I wanted to say.

I keep forgetting what I want to catch everybody up on.

My life consists of going to work and then coming home. And then it's either FHE, institute, the temple, the gym, The Bachelor, American Idol, roommates, fan club, Friends (I borrowed a favorites collection from my neighbor), shopping, or any other social event that happens to be scheduled to which I decide to make an appearance, fashionably late of course.

1. Speaking of the Bachelor, if you haven't seen this already, then you should see it now. I can't believe I didn't notice this from day 1:

It's funny because it's true. They even have the same hair!!!! ALSO. I've lost so much interest in the show recently that I didn't watch last week's episode except the rose ceremony, and I missed most of the girls tell all from this week. I mean, I'll watch the finale, but it's just not nearly as fun when Courtney isn't being mean. Sheesh.

2. I have decided that pop culture consumes WAY TOO MUCH of my life. And honestly, I have cut back SERIOUSLY on my iTunes usage lately. And I haven't watched American Idol in two weeks. The last song I purchased on iTunes was Chris Brown's "Turn Up the Music," and that was released the day after the Grammys.... so what was that, like mid-February!?! It's been like 3 weeks! And so... maybe I'll get a real hobby if I actually cut down on my media time. That would be cool. Maybe I'll go scrapbooking. Or else learn how to... I don't know... cook. I actually did make a resolution this year to learn more housewifery skills. I'm just betting they will come in handy someday. I mean, they've got to, right?

3. Speaking of Chris Brown, I'm loving R&B lately. I mean, I love it periodically, but there has been some magic going on in the R&B world as of late. See below. I watch the first video nearly everyday when I get on the bus. Why do I love Ne-Yo so much? And Jennifer Hudson is like the epitome of girl power. I swear.


And then HI. Brandy and Monica. Welcome back.


4. Work is alternately really awesome and/or actually kind of stressful. We get really busy sometimes. And sometimes I really just get sick of fetching things for people and/or shifting columns and stacks of books so that new items will fit on shelves. Amanda, I know you will be reading this, and you can attest to my grumpy demeanor on Monday when we were shifting. This is my formal and public apology for that...I was a snot. But seriously.

Sometimes I dream of the other kinds of jobs I could have at the Church History Department, and that makes me really happy. And sometimes I can't imagine staying in the same place for so long. As students and/or children we are hardwired for change. Every semester. Every year. Every other week for crying out loud. We have new classes, wards, friends, boys, etc., all the time. And the idea of committing to one thing for an extended period of time FREAKS ME OUT entirely. I'm guessing this is something I am going to have to get over very shortly. Nobody will want to marry a committment-phobe... and I'm hoping to get married, I don't know, within the next 5 years. That would be ideal.

5. Not being in school stresses me out for many reasons--- one of which--- is that I feel like I am getting dumber by the day. I know... it's probably in my head. But without academic reading, brain exercises, studying, memorization techniques, critical thinking, research, and writing, I think that neurons and synapses and craps in my brain are dying in truckloads. I just don't feel smart anymore. I think that probably has to do with the fact that I was never that smart to begin with-- I think I was just spectacular at fooling a lot of people (including teachers and administration at Dixie High School), but I did work pretty hard, and I miss that. I know, I could study on my own. I could do my own research, and I could write my own stuff. But where is the time and motivation for that? I spend a whopping 12 hours a day either working or commuting (or at lunch :)), and when I get home I am starved and brain-tired, and the evening's activities and TV sound like the best option... but really... I'm getting dumber. I am killing my brain more and more each day. And yet... the desire for grad school has all but left me. I mean, I want to do it eventually, but right now, I don't know, it just doesn't feel right. For crying out loud, I feel like a crazy person. I think this is a good time to use one of my favorite words- CONUNDRUM. This is a conundrum. One of those problems that I will complain about forever... but never seek a solution. Because deep in my heart of hearts I know there isn't one.

6. Speaking of no solutions, I think this is a concept that the male species does not understand. They like to solve problems. They like to hear the problems and then find solutions immediately. Without wasting any time. What I hate most about this is that it sounds 100% logical. Why wouldn't you immediately want a solution, right? Why not? Because sometimes you know the solution-- or else you don't know and you really don't care what the solution is-- and you just want to talk about it. Note to future boys (and current) in my life: don't try to solve my problems. Just say "wow. that's awful. [insert appropriate question here]." Because when you try to solve my problems and offer solutions, it just makes me feel like you think I'm dumb (see #5), because obviously, the answers to all my problems are just that easy. Anyway. 


7. I need more Harry Potter in my life. It's been a solid year and a half since I read one of those blessed books. I think that's the longest I have gone since reading Harry Potter 1 December of 2001. Harry Potter has been in my life for a solid 10 years. And what a good 10 years it has been. :)

8. On Sunday night I played mash with the fan club. It was one of the best moments of the year. The three of them picked all the stuff-- for themselves and their future potential life with me. They were basically fighting over marrying me (it originally started as a competition for a trip to the kissing booth, but I squashed their hopes and dreams rather harshly), which is something that a girl will always appreciate, I can assure you. In the end I married Ben, but lived the life that Drake wanted for us, and Mike was left out of the whole deal. I felt kind of bad. But ladies, if you ever need a boost of good feelings about yourself, just call up your fan club and they will make you feel better. They are excellent for intense Saturday night chats, runs to the Creamery for Graham Canyon ice cream (which is a delicious combination of graham flavored ice cream with chocolate covered honeycombs... basically frozen heaven), and on-the-spot games of clue and/or banana grams. And, I promise you, they will make you laugh. Harder than you have... since the last time you saw them. I love these boys. :)

9. I JUST REMEMBERED WHAT I WANTED TO BLOG ABOUT!!! holy!!! except... it's too late now, and I need to sleep. SO. Here's a hint... and maybe I'll write about it tomorrow. One word: grandpa.

Adios.

January

1. This is how I'm going to live my life in 2012.

I am going to live every week like it's shark week.

I have to appreciate every moment while it's there. No regrets. I should do as Mad-Eye Moody (aka Barty Crouch Jr.) admonishes, and have CONSTANT VIGILANCE. Because you know what I realized this year? New Years' Eve isn't about celebrating the year that is ending. It's not about endings at all. It's not about remembering all the times you slacked off during the past year. It's about new beginnings. It's about moving forward; learning from the past to make the future brighter. And that's what I'm going to do this year. That's why 2012 is going to be so great. Because even though I love history and practically live in the past as a profession, that doesn't mean that I can't see the future for it's brightness and potential. 2012 is a new beginning-- the doorway to something exciting. I just don't know what that is yet. But it's my responsibility to make it rock.

(PS I wrote this on New Years' Day. It had some planned addendums and additions that never happened... so that is what we are left with. And I think I still got my point across.)

2. THE BRILLIANT MR. RYAN TEDDER. Look up his discography. You'll see several hits, which include, but are not limited to, Beyonce's "Halo," Leona Lewis and "Bleeding Love," Adele's "Rumour Has It" AND "Turning Tables," almost the entire OneRepublic catalog (which I'm in love with btw), Jordin Sparks, "Battlefield," Kelly Clarkson, "Already Gone," Hilary Duff's "Gypsy Woman" (perhaps the greatest Hilary Duff song, if the word "greatest" can be applied to ANY of her songs), various unheard of Backstreet Boys recordings, some of my fave Adam Lambert songs, and drumroll please..... "The Way I Are." Timbaland. Only one of the greatest songs of the 2000s. Oh wait, like 5 of these songs are on the VH1 list. Anyway, this man is a hero of a songwriter and producer, and I've been in love with his talent for like the past 6 months, but have failed to mention so on this blog. So. For real. Pay attention to this guy.

Also, I've had OneRepublic's Dreaming Out Loud, made in like 2007, in my car's CD player not stop for like the past month. And um, unless you're name is Michael Jackson, that is a really rare occurrence in my car. And I haven't even gotten sick of it! It's mellow (which is also rare for me), but so beautiful and still exciting and I love it. And I would love to see OneRepublic in concert. Would love to. I would love to watch the genius of Ryan Tedder in person.

And that is all. 

3. So I've been sick the past couple of days.... and that makes me grumpy. And it makes it harder to handle all the other responsibilities in life. Like, we had the For Like Ever 2012 party on Friday, and I was honestly tempted to cancel the whole thing because I felt so crappy and tired and I knew that it would be a disappointment because my one and only Lene would not be present (which was true, btw, it was a disappointment without Lene. But I don't regret having the party... it was fun despite the illness). Oh, and pictures to come.

4. Good news. I've almost completely stopped watching Netflix. And 30 Rock is back on. And when 30 Rock is on, I forget that there are any other shows on television, besides American Idol, of course. But seriously, though, I have had a hard time with American Idol this year because my evenings are just so dang busy! I always miss it. I was only able to watch 1 hour of Hollywood Week this year. Shame of all shames. I love group round. And I missed all the performances. I think I might write to Congress and then show up on the Capitol steps to lobby for a bill to be passed requiring American Idol to post their shows on Hulu the next morning. Because it is just a tragedy when people like me have to miss the show, and then they can't even make it up!!! I JUST WISH I HAD TIVO OR DVR OR SOMETHING!

5. I don't even know what else happened last month. It was cold. And I went to work, and then I came home. I went to my some intramural dodgeball games. That was fun. I went on some dates. Hung around a lot, trying to keep warm. I went to Cafe Rio a couple of times. I hung out at a friend's cabin for a weekend. And went shopping in Park City. And I went to some sweet BYU basketball games (St. Mary's and Gonzaga)--- I was hooked up with some awesome seats. And I let my room get a little too messy, a little too often. February definitely has some room for improvement. :)

6. Oh and guess what. My phone broke last week. So I'm using an awful temporary one. And I might buy an iPhone. Because I want one. But I definitely don't want to pay for a data plan.

7. And last: Meghan and Joey are engaged! WOOT WOOT! August 18th errabody!

Anywho. Peace.

And so it goes.

1. I took a personality test once (okay, I've taken more than one personality test...), and one of the results told me that I, "enjoyed planning things more than actually executing them."

I gasped at the truthfulness of this statement. And at that point (it was probably several years ago), I was very much a planner who never carried out the plans. I thought about things that I could plan. I thought about all the fun things I could do. I made lists... all day. 

I still do that. I make lists of things to do-- parties to have-- specific plans for things. Vacations to take, future careers, characteristics of my future husband or children. Things I will do as a mother, things I want to do in my life before I die, stories I want to write, hobbies I want to have, how I will decorate my house, etc. 

And I derive so much joy from the plans. From the lists. 

So much joy, in fact, that I don't need to see most of the plans come to fruition. It's called imagination, people. And I have it. And it always looks way better in my head than it will in real life. If I never carry out said plans, I will never be disappointed. And I will be protected. And safe. And very, very happy. 

2. Do not cover the King of Pop. You will fail.

Very rarely have I heard a good Michael cover. Very rarely. I happen to remember one in history. ever. It was David Cook's "Billie Jean" on American Idol in 2008. And it was only good because it was different enough. And because David Cook has little bit of style. It was a magic moment.

Anyway.

I just got done watching the X Factor tribute to Michael Jackson. All the contestants performed MJ songs, and I think that my opinion of their performances can be best summarized through the faces of Prince, Paris, and Blanket Jackson, who were in attendance of the show.

I particularly appreciate Blanket's reaction. He's like, "what is going ON??"

And he is bored stiff. adorable.

3. I am currently sitting alone in my apartment, fighting the urge to watch tv on netflix; something that  I've been doing a little bit too much recently. I'm also fighting the urge to eat everything I can see. I want chocolate, I want candy. And I also want friends. All my roommates are gone for Christmas, which would explain why I am sitting alone on a Sunday evening-- Sunday is usually the busiest, most social day of the week. But Provo has been abandoned. I can see a once chuck-full parking lot looking pretty lonely outside my window. And the sky looks grey, as if it is going to cry because BYU is no longer in session and the clouds can't look down at all the happy, smiling BYU kids. I'm still here, you clouds!!! Smile at me!!! Or better yet, run away and leave the sun to warm Provo up to a good 90 degrees so I can skip work tomorrow and lay out all day. That would be rad. I'm leaving for St.G on Wednesday night. And I am excited... most particularly for Thursday night, which is totes going to be awesome....

4. Because guess what??!?!?!?!?!! I'm going to the Cirque du Soleil MICHAEL JACKSON IMMORTAL WORLD TOUR SHOW!!!! I'm so excited I will probably pee my pants. And then lose my voice from screaming.... before the show even starts.

5. So..... prediction. Matt Carlino is going to be BYU basketball's new "it boy." It'll take a couple of years, but it'll happen. The kid is going to be a big deal.

6. Also, Jimmer scored 21 points in his preseason NBA debut. Just saying.

7. Dearest Timmy Tebow, thank you for playing on my fantasy team this year. And thank for scoring 26 points today. And thank you making religion cool to those outside Mormon world because every guy thinks you are rad and every girl thinks you are hot. Because you are. a babe. Love, Audrey

Hello Tim Tebow. You look like you are having a very nice day.

That is all. 

Charming.

1. Can I please be a member of the Huxtable family? I am in love with Heathcliff Huxtable. I want to marry someone just like him, and then become a Claire Huxtable. I'll be a lawyer while he is a doctor, and we'll have kids who get crazy ideas and ask for money all the time. But we'll put them in their place-- teach them life lessons without the "Full-House" style sappy part at the end (it is for this reason that The Cosby Show is leagues better than its many genre equivalents).

2. I finished "The Book Thief" today, about 7 months in the making. I don't know why I never got into this book. I started in like October and just read it at the gym, then brought it to DC with me, and didn't touch it the whole 4 months I was there. But now I'm done. I finished the last 100 pages today, and you know what? I really liked it. It's a beautiful story about what is important in life-- it's a story of abandonment and guilt, courage and love--- and it's a story about the power of words. I would actually recommend it to anyone. Markus Zusak is somehow able to create small moments that are breathtaking and powerful and stabbing. And meaningful. I'll be thinking about it for a while.

That's all.

Oh wait, we had a party. For Memorial Day. It was crowded. The floor was shaking and I thought it was going to break. We got a lot of highlighter on the carpet (dang it). And there was a girl there (who no one knew) who kept trying to change the music, and I was super moody about it. But there were boys and writing on walls is fun. And as per the Facebook instructions, almost everybody actually showed up wearing white. Yay white-out for Memorial Day and black lights.

See pics below.

isn't this bomb?

Lene is so cool.

some of the early party people.

That's really all.

Yep, that's me.

I realized, yesterday, that wherever I go, I carry little bits that boldly proclaim exactly who I am.

Exhibit A: My attire and equipment at the gym.

First, I will have my yellow iPod that has written on the back of it: "Ah Music." This is significant for several reasons: 1) It is chuck full of Michael Jackson music. He sings to me and it brightens my day. 2) yellow is my favorite color. and 3) the "Ah Music" quote actually comes from Albus Dumbledore in HP1 after the students and faculty at Hogwarts complete a spirited rendition of the Hogwarts school song. I love Harry Potter.

Second, I will be carrying a book, and quite possibly it will be a Tennis Shoes book (like yesterday). Around the book will be an elastic head band that I will use to strap the book onto the elliptical machine. I love books way too much, and somehow I came up with a way to hold the book open to read, while I listen to Michael Jackson and exercise at the same time. Multi-tasking. I'm a pro.

Third, The only piece of jewelry I will be wearing is a CTR ring. The CTR ring that I have been wearing for more than half of my life (purchased; $10; Nauvoo, Illinois; August 1999; age 11). I am a very sentimental person. I keep things for a very long time. AND, the ring signifies the high priority that religion is in my life.

Fourth, The probability that the shirt I will be wearing bears some sort of BYU logo is very high. I love BYU and I wish I could be a student there for the rest of my life.