That Michael Phelps

Conversation with the lovely Laura Thomas this morning:

Laura: Michael Phelps won another gold last night.
Audrey: I love Michael Phelps.
Laura: He's just so darn adorable.
Audrey: I just want him to win everything, forever.
Laura: ..... (thinking about MP)
Audrey: But Ryan Lochte is, like, sooooo attractive.
Laura: Yes.

I haven't changed very much in the last 4 years, apparently. Check out this post from the days after the Beijing Games.

Corn Flakes ESPECIALLY!

I've found a new love: Corn Flakes. Would you like to know why? MICHAEL PHELPS!!

This is the story: At the grocery store yesterday, I walked down the cereal aisle trying to find my sole food source for the next week, and BAM!! Michael Phelps was staring me in the face. I immediately picked up the box of cereal, and placed it into the cart. End of story, I now love Corn Flakes.

Look out Wheaties, I've found a new breakfast of champions!

The "Michael" Rule

This is a theory I've been working on for quite some time. The whole idea is that it seems strangely coincidental that there are so many "best ever" people that happen to be named Michael. Ok, so there are really only 4 that are I would put in the category of "best ever Michaels," but still, that's a lot! And they are very high profile "best ever" people.

Audrey's list of really talented Michaels:

1. Michael JORDAN
2. Michael PHELPS
3. Michael JOHNSON
4. Michael JACKSON

Who can deny that Michael Jordan is traditionally the best basketball player of his time? There is no discounting the fact that Michael Phelps won more gold medals than anyone in one olympic games. He is THE best swimmer ever. And Michael Johnson was the track star of the 1996 games in Atlanta. Usain Bolt, however, beat his records. I guess that if the name "Bolt" is part of yours, that overrides the "Michael" rule. And then we come to Michael Jackson. Who else has the title of King of Pop? Michael Jackson's Thriller is the most-sold record of all time. And seriously, forget singing, what about dancing? He's an amazing dancer. Each of these Michaels have been the best in their fields, thus cementing the "Michael" rule.

And I can't forget about my other favorite Michael: Michael BUBLE. I wasn't sure that he could fit into a "best ever" category, so he is mentioned separately. But still, Michael Buble is one of a kind. AMAZING VOICE. My all-time favorite singer.

In conclusion, if you want your son to be successful, name him Michael. And if you want a successful husband, marry one named Michael. It automatically increases the probability of success and wealth due to the "Michael" rule.

P.S. Did you notice that 3 of the 4 are MJ's? And that they were all born black? (ha ha notice the born black part... "black" no longer applies to Michael Jackson!)

Michael Phelps's abs might be made of batman, but Ryan Lochte is way Hotter

You see? Ok, so that is a really good picture of Michael Phelps, but he usually looks a lot goofier. Ryan Lochte, on the other hand, looks good all the time- with short hair, or with longer curly hair. It's all good.